Ad Astra Per Aspera
in the Latin language, means THROUGH DIFFICULTIES TO THE STARS.
In other words (note I'm derviving all my explanation from Google, I know, it's sad but I think it fits the cause), it could be rephrased as "To the stars through difficulties", where these difficulties are used in the sense of testing our endurance and patience.

I used this quote for a significant purpose (and not just because I found it out of To Kill A Mockingbird) but because I feel this exactly describes the whole secondary school process that all of us, each and every single one of us had undergone. 4/5 years of Secondary school, graduation, O Levels currently.

At this point, I feel extremely melancholic, nostalgic, glad, content and in a serene state of mind. What a long period of two weeks! Mentally exhaustive, tedious and tiresome are on our daily routine as we mugged and tried to cram as much information as possible. Well, I can still vividly remember the fresh and putrid feeling of fear that plagued us weeks and days before 26/10, and now it's the nearly the end of the O's! One more week and it'll be entirely Over. Somehow something in me seems confuzzled and disorientated. After 12 strenuous papers and 7 subjects, it has gone by all too fast, leaving me feeling completely dazed in wonder whether we actually had just completed most of our O's.

This seems all too much like a wonderous and foggy dream in my mind.

But still, we've come a long way. We've done our part of studying and doing the examinations as well as we possibly could. Now it's up to the Cambridge markers, but of course, I'm speaking too soon as there still remains one more week of examinations [AND ONE MOAR MCQ PAPER FOR ME AHAHAHAHA]. But still, it's a pretty remarkable journey we've been on, and we're still on our way to the stars. Besides, the future seems bright from my current viewpoint as of now.

I can't help but smile despite my inward nervousness and maelstorm of conflicting emotions. Oh... what a life, what a life.


- - - - >8 - - - - - cut along the lines - - - - >8 - - - - - - - -


On a separate note, MAI INTERNITZ H1ATUS IS OVER!!!one!!111!eleven!!omglolwtfbbq

Yes the one I (mostly effectively) committed myself to following. I had not went onto the internet for such a long time... I miss Facebook unbelievably. But to settle back to my blog, ahh sweet relief. Though there seem to be problems with my photobucket. Fhluck, I can't upload or post amusing pictures. Sigh, screw.

In any other case, I shall recount the journey from the first time the O Level period started until now. This is going to be a tragically long blog post. Well, I'll try to keep it interesting::


13th October - Night Studying commences
Initially, I can swear I was very interested and hyped up about it. As the days progressed, apparently Night Studying lost its interesting features. Sure it was helpful, but studying at home in my own room was more of my forte.

21st October -Graduation Day/Ceremony && Nazry's birthday
This day deserves more attention and I'm going to devote most of my time on it. This endearing and beautiful day really made me appreciate the beautiful 4 years of Orchid Park I spent most of my time. How grand a ceremony where the atmosphere is hyper and brimming with excitement and nostalgia.

Before we headed to the hall, we were moved to our classrooms (for the final official time) and it was then Mrs Rupesh handed out personal notes to each and everyone of us. I must admit, once I read her heartfelt and sincere message she had written for me... I teared up. Her personal message for me was beautiful and sincere, I read and reread it with so much gratitude and thankfulness. I harboured the same thoughts she had towards me. Indeed, Mrs Rupesh, you truly are a kind soul who has shown me aspects of myself I have never known, and for that I am forevermore thankful to you for showing me the light that I have ignored many times before.

Then we were moved to the graduation ceremony. Well, around this time the spirit started dying down because we admittedly didn't listen to the speeches that were recited to us. The video was nice, but wasn't as grand as the previous year's one. In fact this whole graduation ceremony seemed to almost dampen our spirits. The walk down the aisle to the foyer was pathetic as well, the lower secs did nothing to cheer as we marched by. That bothered a great number of us, but to me, the fucking hell with the whole lot of them, all I focused on was the beginning of the long walk to the foyer: The higher authorities, the teachers and the more supportive sec 3s, who cheered when 4A1 marched past.

The beams of the teachers as we walked past, and the cheers of the supportive sec 3s, our council juniors... Oh man, that was a brutally wonderful experience. Fuck the rest of the uncaring bastards, the front part of the long walk is all I will remember. And my juniors still owe me graduation presents.

It went on to the distribution of the school graduation magazines and our school souvenir, a white porcelein cup with the school front on it. Immediately I went to yearbook signing madness, getting and grabbing passing teachers to sign autographs. I must say after reading their comments about me (I shall ignore that negative persona in me that tells me they are lying), I was truly touched by the way they saw me, as a cheerful person and such. From their eyes they saw me way differently from the way I saw myself, and I was truly appreciative of such sweet words they had told me, along with my dear, dear friends who had written in it as well.

The moments were made greater by the class pictures 4A1 took at the La Vista. Jump shots and insanity and craziness still ran high among us. The pictures of us just goofing around and laughing and threatening to throw each other into the murky pond really made me appreciative of the class I had chose as my first class after sec 2 streaming. The top few students in sec 2 chose to go to the other scientific class, only I (I think) chose this art class. Did I regret?
Not. One. Bit.

And in that quiet silence where most of the other students had departed, I reviewed the comments over and over again for the sheer need of it and looked at the blue sky. I truly loved my time in Orchid Park. Maybe it's just me, but I truly and sincerely did. Never did I once wish I was in another school (and if I did, well, I deserve to get shot) and I never really hated OPSS at all. With such a group of blessed and vibrant teachers and friends I've met, how could I bear any grudge? (except for a certain few ... fuckers that I would love to forgive as a form of revenge but won't).

Afterwards, Zhi Qing, Charlotte, Azira, Nazry and I headed down to KFC where we celebrated birthday boy (Nazry) by providing him a free KFC b-day meal and Famous Amos cookies, intended to be a whole bag to himself, but he shared with us (so sweet!). Afterwards we all separated and left for home, myself weary from the day's emotional events.

What a day, what a day it was. The blue sky in the middle of the Orchid Park parade square was always so brilliant. Always.

22nd October - Science [phys/chem] (Practical)
I have no idea what the hell they wanted me to do for physics.
Chemistry was hard. Thank goodness I took a gamble and answered correctly.

26th October - English
Let's like we don't need to countdown anymore eh? Paper 1 was unnverving. Paper 2 led me to a sense of quiet but firm confidence, now I'm unsure but I can't do anything about it to change the situation.

27th October - E Maths P1
Moderately easy.

28th October - E Maths P2
Mildly tough. But contained nothing I've never encountered before.

29th October - A Maths P1
Slightly harder than 2008's O levels. Got me worried, but still assured I could pass.

30th October - A Maths P2
Terrible. Couldn't think straight, couldn't focus, did terrible. Had a nervous breakdown afterward at home. But I don't think I could have done that badly now that I think about it. Sorry, a few questions unsolved to me are pretty much the equivalent of not knowing the whole paper at all.

2nd November - SS && Chem
!! SS !! - FUCK YOU VENICE (i mean the SS chapter, not the city, i love venice, heck i wanna visit it someday). WE STUDIED YOU LIKE A SEX SLAVE AND YOU NEVER CAME OUT. But Globalization did, lucky me. SBQ was hard, I think that'll definitely pull me down.

!! Chem !! - Heartbreakingly easy. Though I'm disappointed in myself for failing to explain some terms to full extent.

3rd November - History
Holy shit, the SEQs were exactly like Prelims, a definite help there. SBQ was no better than SS. Oooh, humanities is looking somewhat bleak.

4th November - Physics
Manageable to an easy extent. Disappointed in myself for not trusting my gut when I was hesitant about a question.

6th November [TADAY] - Literature
Quite do-able. P1 was fine, I spammed everything on text-based, pretty confident on that. Unseen was a bit confusing and uncertain, but I think I've explained adequately enough.
P2 was more heartbreaking. Screwed up on essay question but the second part of text-based might salvage me since I studied Titania and Oberon. Woo, still might pass, but not as well as I could have.

You know, I realize something. Three different languages (Southern dialogue, Proper English and Shakespearean diction) in one single day is seriously mind-blowing. WE DON'T DESERVE THIS KINDA SHIT!!!

Besides afterwards, Zhi Qing, Charlotte and I watched Jennifer's Body. Well, in my personal opinion it was nothing impressive (like 28 days or zombie flicks) and nothing distasteful and all-out stupid (like the Covenant, ew) though some parts were admittedly quite ridiculous. But still, an enjoyable teen cult movie in my opinion. So remember kids, when your girlfriend/boyfriend warns you not to go to dances because they think their best friends are inexplicably evil ("really evil, not high school evil"), you should listen. Really. It could save your stupid, sorry ass.


- - - - - - - >8 - - - - -


Well, if you're in 4A1 (or takes similar subjects to us), we only have one more paper left: Science MCQ. Let's not get complacent and score on this one to bring everything up hopefully. :D One more, you guys, let's enjoy and relax ourselves before shoving ourselves to max-overdrive and score in MCQ. We can do it. Parelleling what Atticus had said but twisting it to fit this context: We've done it before, and we did it again today (and yesterday for POA students) and we'll do it again, and when we do it, it'll mark the end of our O Levels.

WE CAN DO THIS!

On a separate note, I don't know why I have this obsession and ... need to play Resident Evil 5 on PS3. Maybe it's just my sadistic enjoyment in killing zombies/B.O.W.s? Or maybe because I like Albert Wesker. He's a repulsive evil (extra) character but he's hot. ...Why are the bad guys always hot??? Why am I always attracted to the goddamn evil dude??? (oh and Adam Brody in Jen's body was hot too, what a hot and devillish [no pun intended] rocker. :D) Oh well, either this or that or both, I got a bloodlust for shootin' zombies.

Meh, goin' out with Charlotte tomorrow! ... Or rather later today. Man, it's late. 01:01 AM late.

Countdown to 26/10
Countdown to THE END, 11/11: 4 days
"Every night I rush to my bed, with hopes that maybe I'll get a chance to see you when I close my eyes. I'm goin' out of my head. Lost in a fairytale, can you hold my hand and be my guide? Clouds filled with stars cover your skies, and I hope it rains. You're the perfect lullaby. What kind of dream is this? It can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare, either way I don't wanna wake up from you. Sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare, somebody pinch me. Your love's too good to be true."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 1:01 AM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

"Singing songs that make you slit your wrists,
It isn't that much fun..."

M N. 5th of the April. 17. Singapore. Female. Facebook. Tumblr.

Ex-Chongfu Primary. / Ex-CHAS.
Graduated Orchid Park Secondary:
Ex-Drama. Ex-Debater. Ex-Student Councillor. Ex-1A3-ian. Once-and-forever-2A3-ian. Ex-3A1-ian. Ex-PROUD-4A1-ian.

NGEE ANN FMS MCM [mass comm] T107/T102. RADIOHEATWAVE.COM Radio DJ. STAGE 52.

IN A RELATIONSHIP ♥

FYI, I quote a LOT of lyrics.

NOT emo, just tends to be more depressed than I'd like.
NOT a rocker, but loves to rock out.
NOT so sure i know who i am.
SUFFERS from Dermatillomania
a passionate LOVE for the colour RED
& PROUD TO BE A freak. Are you?

1. Love myself.
2. Self-Acceptance.
3. Eradicate insecurities.
4. Not to care.
5. Work hard in school.
6. Start over.
7. Take it slow.
8. Keep promises.
9. GPA >3.8 [yr 1.2,1.1,2.2,2.1,3.2]
10. To be MISERABLE and HAPPY.


"If it's not enough, try again. And again. Over and over again."

[[ WaNTS && WiSHES ]]

(1) Gorillaz - Plastic Beach
(2) 30STM - This Is War
(3) New Headphones
(4) Those new JEANS
(5) A Teenage Dream

Alex. :)♥ (my bumbling idiot)

HUTTSON My poopoo DOGGIE. ♥♥♥

BANDS :: MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE. Placebo. Marilyn Manson. 30 Seconds to Mars. Avenged Sevenfold. Linkin Park. Gorillaz. The Blackout. The Academy Is... Fall Out Boy. Bullet For My Valentine. Before Their Eyes. Lady Gaga. Just to name a VERY few...

HEROES :: GERARD WAY. TDK Joker. Jared Leto. Brian Molko. Draco Malfoy. 2D. Gerard Way. ♥ XD

Dilemmas.
The conflict.
Inner conflict.
Prejudiced people.
BUGS.

2A3-ians ♥ We Rock. Like Hell.
3/4A1-ians Over speed limit :D
Shoethrowers ♥ FAMILY
Apphia! :D :D :D Hee.
Azira A-zi-zi-ziraaaa! ♥ xD
Elizabeth ♥!
Elva VaVa :D
Farhan
Gavin
Isabelle
Jessica :D :D :D
Joanne ♥ XD
Joel is a legend!
Kenn Ninjaboy :D
Keng Ying CUZZIN! :D
Li Qing :DDD!
Matin! :D So cuute!
Nazry BiTCH!♥
Pearlyn So cute. :D
Rui Shuin Mah Couzin :D
Safwah rocks hardcore! :D ♥
Samuel ... Moo. :D ♥
Sarah BestFriend WALRUS ♥♥♥
Sheereen :DDD She cool yo!
Shi Wei :D:D:D So rad!
Si Ying, Tan rroooccckksss. :]
Si Ying, Yeh :D
Su Min She rocks!
Su Yuan :]

"Well you can hide a lot about yourself,
But honey, what're you gonna do?
And you can sleep in a coffin,
But the past ain't through with you."

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Image: Beyrout

I'm nothing but a beautiful disaster,
Crying tears of blood and joy
Into this black void.
Oblivion;
It's the place to be.
Ephemeral Romance.
Will you come with me?




i want to be

BEAUTIFUL

inside