MORBID mind :: The world is as ugly as it is beautiful.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Where The Hell Are The Turtles?!

Sooooo I went with ALNETTE, SHI HUI, SHENG MIN, CHRISTINA and HILARY to the Singapore Zoo...

And it was frig fun.

Oh yes, and... HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHI HUI!!! One-Five Years Young! :D

We were all late in meeting each other... but we boarded bus 138 at AMK hub and journeyed (on a bumpy, bumpy bus ride down to the zoo) and then we proceeded to buy tickets to get in. It cost $14, not too bad.

So we entered. And the first thing was this guy came up to us and asked if we wanted to take pictures. And we did. I looked like a retard in all 3 pictures, while Sheng Min pulled all of them off flawlessly, effortlessly even.

Then we moved onto the walking around the whole damn zoo to check out the animals. I can't go into much detail here but... we wondered if the alligator was real, we wondered where the hell the turles were, we wondered why was there a security camera in the komodo dragon's exhibit, I got bitten by a small little monkey... (yes, indeed), we heard a lion's roar and when we ran back to the lion's exhibit, BOTH lions weren't there at all, we watched animals go about their business and DO their businesses... (get my meaning?) and most of all, we watched the splash show and elephant show. Believe me, that was that and MORE.

Oh and we got to feed the kangeroos and little goats in the petting farm as well. ... The kangaroo liked Alnette because it licked her and it hated me because it kept trying to eat me while we were feeding it. Animals hate me for a reason.

And I must say, we wound up getting sprayed with elephant - I don't wanna say - during the elephant show. I never knew the water was THAT dirty. But I wasn't as soaked as Christina... Oh the poor girl. DDDD:

Anyhoo, we had a great time (except for eating at KFC afterwards. THEY RAN OUT OF CHIKKEN O__o!!!!! t'was closing time). And I regret not bringing my camera... Maybe I can get some pics from Hilary.

And one thing's for sure. Ladies and Gentleman, if you can walk around the zoological gardens and not feel exhausted after running around like idiots, you are guarantee going to pass your 2.4 km rum. After today... I think all of us are going to pass very, very well. Our legs were sore after that.

But for now... Rest and relaxation, with a quiz from AZIRA'S blog. :D
____________________________

1. When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in the face?
Believe me, even when I'm not thinking about it, I ALWAYS want to punch someone in the face.

2. Do hugs make you feel better?
Most of the times, depends really.

3. Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor?
Nooo... And of all places I pray I will NEVER pass out there.

4. Do you start the water before you get into the shower or when you get in?
When. Getting sprayed with cold water before it becomes warm is very satisfying sometimes.

5. What did you do today?
Read the text above the line.

6. Have you ever brushed your teeth while in the shower?
Much as it might be weird, I do. Multitasking is fun.

7. Have you had more than 3 boyfriends/girlfriends at the same time?
Never even had one to start with.

10. Would you rather be in a permanent relationship or play the field?
Permanent. Provided it was a happy, fulfilling, loyal and sincere, good one. If not, I'd rather be like "the virgin thorn / [which] Grows, lives and dies in single blessedness". [I'd rather be single forever, stupid.]

11. What is your favorite sport?
Basketball, soccer, badminton...

12. What color is your shower curtain?
Blue with seashells...

13. Have you ever had stitches?
I can faintly recall, yes. When I was frig young.

14. How long ago did you hug someone?
Just a few days ago, I believe.

15. Do you believe that boys/girls have cooties?
Yes. And if you are infected with them by the carrier(s), your skin will bloat and start to shrivel up, and vomit, blood and bile will spew out uncontrollably out of the every orifice in your contaminated body and you will be so mentally deranged you will swallow your own tongue, gorge your eyes out and rip out your heart and eat it.

... Damn it, NO.

16. Do you know how to use chop sticks?
Amazingly, I do. But I hold it differently than it's supposed to be held. But I really don't give a firetruck as long as I can pick up stuff with it.

17. Lyrics stuck in your head?
"I candycoat and cover everything that I'm still hiding underneath, it's been a long time, it's been a long time. A thousand faces looking up at me, hands all pointing to the ceiling, oh what a feeling... (some part of lyrics missing here)
I've got friends in highly low places, I'll go inside when I wanna party, grab a girl and dance (don't touch me) Whoa oh! whoa whoa oh!"

18. Do you like the Red Sox or the Yankees?
Yankees. But I'm not much of a baseball fan.

19. What are you doing tomorrow?
Reading Misery... Slacking off.

20. Who was the last person you couldn't take your eyes off?
A guy at the zoo. He was cute. :3

21. Have you ever given money to a homeless person?
Given money to charities and street people... Not so sure if they're homeless.

22. Have you ever ran over an animal?
Ran over with a car, no. Ran over with my feet... Yes. Sadly, poor mister frog... (I was young and the bloody pathway was dark)

23. What is your favorite cereal?
Coco Crunch! :D

25. What are you doing right this moment?
Blogging... And checking out other websites.

26. Do you think it's right for straight guys to get their tongue pierced?
Truthfully, yes, it's their choice and personally I'm all up for the pierced look (tongue, belly button, lip etc.) so go right ahead baby! Besides, making out with a guy with a tongue piercing could be an... interesting experience... ;D

27. Where's your favorite place to be?
At home, outside home... Anywhere really. Minus the bad, bad, baaaaaaaaad areas.

28. What's your favorite song?
Sleep - My Chemical Romance [there's loads more]

29. Are you more of a coffee or alcohol drinker?
Coffee, I have a better chance of getting addicted to it.

30. Have you ever thrown shoes on a telephone wire?
... That was random. No. Whyyyy?

32. Have you ever climbed up a water tower?
No. There's none here...

33. Do you dream in black and white?
I dream in Technicolor! :D ... no, I dream in full color most of the time.

34. Do you talk in your sleep?
I believe I do... Very rarely though.

35. Do you snore?
If I do, no one's told me, so I don't know.

36. Do you think about any of your ex's?
Never even had an ex to start out with.

38. Funniest thing you heard all year?
I can't say... there's too many!

39. Ever gotten a mosquito bite on your face?
Both eyelids, 4 times on both cheeks, 1 time on chin. It was so bad, my face swelled. Does that answer the fucking question?

40. What are you afriad of?
A lot of stuff... most of them concern PEOPLE.

41. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
CallerAlert: ******** tried to call you while you were not reachable. This service is brought to you free by SingTel Mobile.

42. Do you like someone?
REALITY: I used to.

FANTASY-WISE: HELL YEAH, DRACO MALFOY!!!

43. Do you know why you like them?
REALITY: He was such a great person, and he had a great smile.

FANTASY-WISE: He's hot, sexy, evil... Plus he grows up and becomes a more... "better person".

45. Can you recite the alphabet backwards?
I'm already having problems reciting the alphabet FORWARDS.

46. Who's on your mind right now?
This faceless person. I'm serious.

47. What are you listening to?
Whoa Oh! - Forever the Sickest Kids

48. What's your mobile ringtone?
I'm Not Okay - My Chemical Romance

49. Need to get something off your chest?
All the time.

50. How do you feel about your life right now?
It's not exactly happy or perfect... But I'm content.
_____________________________

Got to go sleep now. Feet hurt. Legs are stabbing me. I swear I absolutely CAN run my 2.4 now after today's looooong walking journey.

"Am I crazy or falling in love? Is it really just another crush? Do you catch a breath when I look at you? Are you holding back, like the way you do? 'Cause I'm trying, trying to walk away but I know this crush ain't goin' away, goin' away."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 11:28 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Everyone loves Womanizer

Chalet... was awesome.

Met up with the Excos, Zhi Qing, Kenn, Praise at Tampines at 10. Then we headed down the chalet where they briefed us on what to do, with us being game masters and all. Then we headed down to check out the chalet. Along the way, it was pretty deserted and ... scary (?) and we were all laughing out loud that we should make a horror movie where supernatural forces turns one of us into a homicidal maniac / mass murderer.

The chalet didn't look too bad. It was pretty large enough to fit the whole council, just not enough for everyone to sleep in it. But since we couldn't check in, we headed back to where we started to find Charlotte.

Back along the way, Qing Ning felt like she couldn't walk and that her flat shoes were killing her. Our homicidal maniac was really about to show herself then. Anyway, we met up with Charlotte and while waiting for Mrs Rupesh, an ice cream uncle came driving around, so we decided to get some ice cream. Eating, and still waiting some of us journeyed up to the old Changi hospital, I was freaking out along the way, but when we didn't know which building it was, we gave up and went back down.

When we got back down, we saw Mrs Rupesh. They were discussing how were we going to do stuff before we left. Then we all decided to eat down at Changi Village, but Mrs Rupesh's car could only fit so much. Then Charlotte decided to go back to her house to change shoes, me, Nicolette and Praise.

Charlotte's new house is gorgeous... I swear to God... It was big and beautiful. There was even a bridge-like platform on the third floor, leading to another room. It was hella white and sweet. And her dogs were just as sweet and awesome... Even Mocha was there! (the dog Charz and me rescued from the SPCA) I doubt he could remember me, but he was kinda tame, unlike the little bouncing ball of fur when we first got him.

Then we got a lift from her brother to Changi Village, where we bought Singapore's best Nasi Lemak (according to Charlotte) for lunch before her bro drove us down to the chalet, where we sat at the carpark eating our lunch when Mrs Rupesh and the people who followed her nearly killed us with the car drove up. We waited for the rest of the councillors to come before we did a full briefing. My game was at checkpoint 4, where it was a picture-taking task. Was paired up with Zhi Qing before we headed off to our checkpoint.

Funny thing was they released the groups on the amazing race before we even got to our checkpoint. It was pure hell when Zhi Qing and I ran for our checkpoints. Our first group got there, and we made them do what we were assigned to make them do. They completed it easily and then went off.

The waiting for the next few groups were absolute hell. Zhi Qing and I nearly died of boredom when waiting for them... But the fun part was that we made them do forfeits (chicken dance) in front of total strangers. [Humilition tips 101]

Group Pics [one group's pic was missing. There are loads of sec 4s because we made their task harder. XD]

Once all the groups were done, we headed back to the chalet, picking up Praise along the way. Once we got back, we lazed around, talked, looked around the inside of the chalet and it was really big. It was bare and not much furniture though, but it was comforting. Then helped some councillors fill up water bombs before we played Amos' game. We were all to have a coin and 10 green beans. And the fun part was that if we went bankrupt (no beans) we would end up as slaves and have toothpaste on our face (Ms Soo was the slave master) and we bought be sold and bought. How cute.

There was also the Empress (Mrs Rupesh) who could send people to jail for absolutely no reason at all... And that she could give out beans or take beans when she so desired. People could also challenge the Empress for beans. But if she won, consider yourself screwed.

Charlotte, Zhi Qing, Praise, Kenn and I teamed up and shared our beans to buy the 40 beans pavilion (there were snacks on it!) and the first thing we did was go to the Empress and she was highly suspicious of us, and for fun (or so...?) we ended up like this:

[AND WE WERE THE FIRST ONES IN THE PRISON! NOT EVEN 5 MINUTES INTO GAMEPLAY WE LANDED OURSELVES IN HERE! XD]

But the fun part was we managed to eat our snacks by the slave market for fun... And the even more fun part was that those with less than 15 beans (as the Empress decreed) had to surrender their beans. Of course, we wound up as slaves (we wanted to anyway). Everyone was complaining the toothpaste was hot and burned the skin on their face but I found it rather comforting. Pain's a pleasure. But anyway, while Ms Soo had fun dabbing toothpaste on everyone, I specifically requested for war paint and a smiley face. It was fun. We wound up like happy slaves.

In the end, I was bought by Nicolette. And I managed to earn some beans. Then the Empress called an auction for a GOLDEN APPLE. Charlotte managed to win it, and the fun part? The Empress later decreed everyone was to give all their beans to the person with the Golden Apple... Which me and Charlotte had taken bites out of. Wow we increased in value by eating gold. XD

The game ended and we went to eat, the sec 4s and 3s clustered in a circle and we did the MAKAN cheer before we dined in. After that, we lazed around, talked, laughed and had fun. And everyone was all in love with Britney Spears' song "Womanizer" because they were made to sing it during one of the 7 tasks of the Amazing Race.

We had a mad water balloon fight after that. Didn't managed to get soaked, but it wasn't too bad. Then we had a cake celebration of birthdays and the sec 4s (and Mrs Rupesh's) farewell. Sighhh, couldn't help but feeling melancholy about it. After cake and hugs (Charz, Naz, Praise, ZQ, Kenn and I gave GROUP HUGS to Mrs Rupesh and Ms Soo) we went inside the chalet to wash up.

We went around the house before we all gathered in Mrs Rupesh's and Ms Soo's room and talked about our experiences in the council. And I officially hate my name because Ms Soo had a hellotta tiffs with girls called Michelle. Ugh. People call me Megan from now on.

We then dispersed from the room and thus began our long, long journey trying not to sleep. We talked, we ate, we laughed, we gossiped, we did a lot of very stupid things trying not to sleep. It was exhausting. But eventually I slept listening to an hour of my MP3 music... Then I was awakened when Zhi Qing and Nazry started doing shuttle run as a morning exercise. Freaky.

Then I grabbed a pillow off an amrchair and slept for about 1-2 hours? I don't know how I awoke but when I did, I was freezing cold. We cleaned up the house before we left, the sec 4s and some sec 3s asking if we wanted to have breakfast, but we declined. Nazry, Zhi Qing, Yee Suan, Charlotte, Kenn and I just HAD to go home and sleep. I was exhausted.

969 bus-ed home. Then I walked home after saying goodbye to Praise and Kenn (the rest had gotten off at earlier stops). I reached home, washed my clothes, showered and slept. For hours on end I swear. 20 hours without sleep and full excitement can do things to you.

But it was worth it. Every single second.

Yes... The council chalet was just awesome.

But random shots in the night, before and after the insane stay-awake. XD [With Haziqah constantly singing Womanzier...]

Insane people taking pictures at 0530 hours (I look friggishly dark)

I'm kinda sad it's over. It was kinda fast and short, this chalet. And saying goodbye to a part of the council is painful. Sighh, story of our lives. Hopefully next year would be just as awesome. I really, really want it to be. :D

"Lollipop. Must mistake me as a sucker, to think that I would be a victim not another. Say it, play it how you wanna but no way I'm ever gonna fall for you, never you, baby. Womanizer, Woman-Womanizer. You're a womanizer, Oh womanizer, oh you're a womanizer, baby. You, you, you are. You, you, you are womanizer, womanizer, womanizer."

February, I started to like you.

From March till yesterday, I liked you.

Today, I can say I USED to like you.

Maybe some part of me will miss you.

But Farewell :)

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 5:45 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Ultimate Fun-Fun-Fun

So today was normal.

Morning was boring. But slightly after lunchtime I studied and did homework with Nazry at Khatib mac...

It was fun. We at least got somethings done. Naz with a bit of Physics and Chemistry and me with Chemistry Section A. Only that for me though... :/

But we talked about loads and load of stuff. We had good laughs. And we even found two ang mors (from America I would believe), one white and one black. And they were talking in such cool accents (especially the African American one) and it made me and Nazry laugh so hard... We just wanted to go over to them and make friends with them.

XD Haha, it was positively outright hilarious.

Then we talked about tomorrow's council chalet. AND I'M SO FIRETRUCKING EXCITED! This could be as fun as last year's council camp at Perak. My very first and it was such a fun camp... Gahh. But this council camp will definitely be a happy one, I get to stay overnight and hell we're gonna stay up and talk and party all night.

Just bursting with glee thinking about it.

Well, better go rest up for tomorrow. :D

C'ya back on Tuesday. :D

But for now:

C
H
A
L
E
T
!

"Cross the line. Redefine. Lose your mind. Come crawl inside. Hey, hey! What've you got?Doesn't matter to me 'cause I don't want them. I'm not the only one."

More importantly, it's time to say

FAREWELL

SO LONG

& GOODNIGHT

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 10:22 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Makes Incomprehensible Nonsense

I think I've landed myself in the same spot again.

What the hell am I doing?

What the hell am I thinking?

Even I don't know.

"Sitting in the dark, I can't forget. Even now, I realize the time I'll never get another story of the Bitter Pills of Fate. I can't go back again. I can't go back again..."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 11:49 AM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

emo.

So the Shoethrowers went *SHOPPING!* :D [minus Zhi Qing who had to slave over waffle machines and earn BIGBUXX xD]

All of us met up at 1 at Kahtib. Trained down to Bugis. We walked around aimlessly before heading into Bugis Street. And lo and behold, everyone went shopping insane. I shared the price with Charlotte over two shirts (1 shirt for $12, 2 shirts for $20)... Nice bargain eh? Both of us save 2 bucks.

Her shirt said: "I love the bad guys (p.s. only if you're cute) :P"

My shirt said: "emo."

Then Charlotte, Praise, Azira and Sarah bought other stuff. Mostly clothes, while Sarah and Azira got a watch. I must admit, even though I don't wear the style of clothings they bought and are gonna wear (blouses, pink shirts... Flowery deisgn) they're still quite nice to look at.

Haha, we've definitely got to give each other Christmas presents when we go Christmas Shopping next month... And make all our little desire dreams come true... (And Charlotte's for the black dress she so desperately wanted)

Anyway, we shopped and shopped (even tried on high heels at BATA) till 5.30 then we all parted. I wanted to head down to the sec 4's prom hotel and say hi to the host [MY BEST FRIEND ANUAR] but they were having rehearsals when I got there. No luck though.

Then I walked down Orchard Road and saw a cute emo guy carrying a "FREE HUGS" sign. I looked back at him over and over again as I walked past him. But I didn't hug him.

WHY DIDN'T I FIRETRUCKING HUG HIM?!?!

He's carrying a sign saying free hugs and I didn't hug him... The hell... I SWEAR I WILL HUG CUTE EMO BOY AT ORCHARD ONE DAY! :D

But for now, I'm exahusted. And infuriated. Because Charlotte likes Tom Felton / Draco Malfoy too. I INTRODUCED HIM TO HER! AND SHE CLAIMED HIM! Argh. Such injustice. XD But seriously, she fell for him...

Ouch.

"'Cause time isn't healing, pretty sick of staring at my ceiling. And I, I can't help the way I feel about you. 'Cause time isn't healing, pretty sick of staring at my ceiling. And I, I can't help the way I've fallen for you."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 11:03 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

Sunday, November 16, 2008

But It's Better If You Do

I've been desperately trying to aviod these thoughts of loneliness and sadness that's been plaguing my mind since the start of this week... And it makes me depressed because I suddenly realize all this time this year, I've just been ignorant of these thoughts.

They've always been there, sometimes a thought or two slips out during my darkest hour, but now they're all just coming out in full force.

These thoughts make me angry, offended, jealous, sad, depressed, lonely... All those dark emotions that I've been trying to hard not to feel day in day out.

I should be grateful. I swear I am to everybody and everything that gives and provides me pleasure and happines but now this is just too much. I'm probably wallowing in self-pity again... Being the selfish bastard I am. But I try so hard to be optimistic, happy, kind... How can this be achieved when I get the urges to cry, tear people apart or even seek emotional numbness?

Just one day I wish I can bravely smile and tell people "I'm not ashamed of my scars."

But I guess I always will be. So long as I don't love myself, accept myself, feel lower about myself whenever I stand next to people, even next to my friends.

I really hope you guys know how lucky and awesome you really are. Because you guys have made me feel so appreciative and grateful for all the great times you've providied me with, you guys are so awesome you make me feel like I don't deserve such great people as friends like you. You guys make me feel low and pathetic about myself, and even though I dislike it, I'd rather not have it another way, I like it this way.

Damn, I feel so dark and suicidal... Haha, maybe it'll pass off sooner or later. I'll revert back to a more aware, less ignorant ghost of my happy self soon enough. What an empty shell I am in more ways than one.

"Well, I'm afraid that I, well, that's right, well I may have faked it. And I wouldn't be caught dead in this place... Praying for love and paying in naivety. Praying for love and paying in naivety, oh..."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 2:09 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

Thursday, November 13, 2008

We Like to Move It, MOVE IT!

Bascially ... TODAY:

Fell sick with a blood-forsaken sore throat. Looks like sleeping beyond 1++ am every night is starting to take its toll on me.

But anyway, went down to SJI today to help out at Charlotte's mom's seminar (that I asked to help out at). It went alright, quite a pleasant but nervous experience.

Then lunched with Charlotte at the buffet. Had Zhi Qing and Sarah constantly harassing us to hurry it up so we can go eat together at Novena. Once got down to Novena, Zhi Qing went on lunch break and we went to Ajisen Japanese Restaurant to eat. Well, Sarah and Zhi Qing ate, Charlotte and I just drowned down water. During the wait for our food, we talked about... well, STUFF. And not a very good STUFF I mean. Dear Lord, I am sorry for tainting such innocence.

ANYWAY, after that, had a blueberry waffle from Zhi Qing and then journeyed down to Orchard, Lido, with Sarah and Charlotte. Before buying tickets for Madagascar 2 Charlotte and I got into a heated discussion about whether Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy) is playing in the Twilight movie. We then agreed he didn't before we went to watch the movie.

The movie was pretty funny. How the penguins managed to do THAT much I will never know. I would've stayed for the end credits, but we were all freezing inside the movie theatre.

Anyway, after that I headed down to the workplace I was supposed to be posted to. Turns out arrangements weren't made at all, and there was no current opening. So, blah, I don't think I got the job at all. So I ponder now should I fucking wait or fucking get another one or just fucking give up?

It makes me wonder. Maybe I'll just enjoy my sec 3 life before I die... There's always next year...

Oh well. Then we walked (on a road... don't ask) towards Takashimaya. Bought some chicken and then went up to Kinokuniya to look around. Another heated discussion between me and Charlotte broke out about whether Draco Malfoy / Tom Felton was cute or not... And we agreed he was handsome in some, RARE shots.

But still, I think he's handsome. XD

Anyway, then MRTed home... and blogged.

Sigh... I'll try again tomorrow.

Still, today was a good day.

"No, I don't even know your name. It doesn't matter, You're my experimental game. Just human nature, it's not what good girls do. Not how they should behave. My head gets so confused, hard to obey."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 8:10 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

Monday, November 10, 2008

Last Resort: Declare War

For one:

THANK GOD AND MERLIN THAT THE MOCK ASEAN THING IS FINALLY OVER!!!

And for two:

Oh, wow, looks like we have more bitches and enemies in the state that we have problems against. And in a real bitchy way, at least we're better than them in our final summary not to bitch-spam-attack our opponents.

Haha, typical us, getting pissed off and infuriated to the point we would declare war on all ASEAN countries if they don't give us what we want. Haha. Lucky no one delved into WWIII. XD

And three:

The Shoethrowers have new names! We are Kresslers / Casslers! :D And I'm now Xiao Hua, Charlotte's Yu Jia, Zhi Qing's Zaris, Azira's Keana and Praise's Zhi Qing.

This is what they call an IDENTITY CRISIS. ... We wore each other's name tags during the breaks, if you're wondering. : ]

And four:

Oh, how embarassing! Haha, apparently I thought I was starting work tomorrow... But really my employers haven't given me my schedule for when I start work yet. Must wait patiently for the call when the time draws near. Geez, I wish they warned me that I won't be starting THAT immediately like I led myself and others to believe.

Sorry.

Oh, well, in the meantime, do homework and chill with friends. : ]

"can't tell if i've been breathing or sleeping or screaming or waking for the man to call and maybe all of the above..."

Sighh~ Well, should be doing homework now. Least all my Maths and multiple choice of Chemistry is completed. Now to dread the rest of the subjects. O___o

You know, I really wonder why I've never (or at least think I never) quoted Disturbia lyrics... I think I have... But who cares.

"It's a thief in the night to come and grab you. It can creep up inside you and consume you. A disease of the mind, it can control you. It's too close for comfort. ... Your train of thought will be altered so if you must faulter be wise. Your mind is in disturbia. It's like the darkness is the light. Disturbia. Am I scaring you tonight? Your mind is in disturbia. Ain't used to what you like. Disturbia, Disturbia. Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum. Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum. Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum. Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum"

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 8:25 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Dementia

I'm bored. And I really don't wanna do the stupid ASEAN thing... and the worst part is it's still fucking incomplete and I have to finish it up by tonight. AND PEOPLE STILL HAVEN'T BLOODY SENT ME THEIR STUFF.

Argh.

But anyway, as a distraction, quiz time. =]
_____________________

1. What people done that will make you hate him/her most?
Just being an attitude-filled, unfiar bitch will do.

2. What is your favourite thing to do ?
Listen to music. : ]

3. What kind of news do you read?
The Straits Times. New Paper... lol I don't know.

5. Is there somebody in your heart right now?
Yes... Yes there is... :D HUTTSON! (and him...)

6. Do you believe you can survive without money?
It's an expensive, evil world out there. Oh, and NO.

7. Are you afraid of pain?
Physical, emotional, mental, psychological, spiritual? Oh man, I've suffered so much pain's my pleasure now.

8. What do you feel like doing now?
Watch a movie... : ]

9. If there's someone you love, would you confess to him/her?
Pfft, yaa. Besides I've already done that.

10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
... That's me... But it was a reply so it don't count. Um... SHI WEI is nice, funny and sweet! :D And very, very happy. I don't how, but she's just so happy.

11. How do you describe yourself?
How bout 'OH, JESUS CHRIST SHE'S COMING TOWARDS US!!!' ... Too much? ... Haha, maybe I'm just peculiar. Just that.

12. If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Rice. :P

13. If you have a chance to be rich or happy , which one will you pick?
Happy. Money can only do so much. [but consider, in this materialistic world, money can buy things to make you happy]

14. If you have a chance , which part of character you would like to change?
Maybe not be so loud and rowdy and attention-seeking? But then again, I'm content with myself now.

15. What movie do you want to watch now?
Madgascar 2. Sadly it's coming out 13 Nov. Still a long way to go.

16. What is the one thing you love about yourself?
I HAVE A DOG! =D ... I don't know, I don't love myself.

17. What you wanted most now?
All homework and ASEAN work to be magically done and all correct. But nah.

18. Why I am in love w/ the person I love so much?
... He's got a personality of gold, he's sweet, caring, nice, and he's got a great smile. :D

19. If you have to choose to be pretty and stupid ,ugly and clever, which will you choose?
Ugly and clever. Fuck NO I'm not gonna wind up like Paris Hilton.

_______________________

And another one:

*Write 10 weird/habits/little known facts about yourself*

1. I talk to myself. AwholefuckingLOT.

2. I have an odd attraction to villians/anti-heroes who have abnormal traits / beliefs (like TDK Joker - he was an anarchistic nihillist or Johnny the Homical Maniac - who kills because of fear of a monster behind a wall, pleasure, his insanity and later seeks emotional numbness)

3. I don't use my left arm when I eat.

4. After bad fall-outs with people I hate, thinking of murdering them in the most sadistic, cruel, grotesque and excruciatingly painful way usually calms me down and makes me smile. (there's a reason why I named my blog with the title "Morbid Mind")

5. I used to like wearing blouses, dresses, skirts and the colour pink when I was young. Now I loathe them. Amazing, right? : ]

6. When I'm nervous or at any random time, my hands will throb and tremble (to the point they're shaking) uncontrollably.

7. I can HATE people as much as I LOVE them.

8. I'm afriad of the future and change, no matter how I look forward to it or crave for it.

9. I used to forgive, but now I don't.

10. Believe me (only a handful of people have seen/heard this) but I can be very, very nasty with my words when people piss me off.
____________________________

... Still bored... Sigh.

"I'm a peace-loving decoy, ready for retaliation. I change the whole occasion to a pine box six-under. Impulsive, don't ask why or wonder. Orders given to me is: strike and I'm thunder with lightning fast reflexes on constant alert, from the constant hurt that seems limitless with no dropping pressure."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 6:24 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Token Arcade and Photobooth Fun

Today was such an awesome dayyy! :DDDD

Met up with the Shoethrowers (excluding PRAISE who had medical checkup D:) at Khatib McDonalds at 9.30am++ (I was the latest one... imagine that) and then we decided to MRT train down to Dhoby Ghaut and eat breakfast at Plaza Sing.

So we talked and gossiped and did all them stereotypical-girl-bitchin' ... and breakfast turned into breakfast + lunch = BRUNCH.

So then we walked around the top few shops of the mall, and kept peeking into the stores with movie replicas and so on and so forth... and then I journeyed into the arcade and walked around... AND SAW THE SILENT HILL ARCADE GAME...

Instantly, Zhi Qing and I played it. And we were screaming all the way. Screamed when we saw nurses popping out, screamed when we saw the pyramid-headed guy. Just screamed and screamed and screamed (with occasional "DIE YOU BASTARDS! DIEEE!!!" *bam bam bam*). But in the end, I died first. XD Haha, my accuracy in gun games are barely there.

Then we moved on to playing car games. Zhi Qing and Sarah played the solo driving car game... and both didn't do so well while I played SuperMario car driving game and I wound up first. :D But I was screaming at the other NPCs for sabo-ing me.

Then Sarah and I played foosball. She won. :D

Then we played another round of foosball. She won again. :D

Moved on to watching Zhi Qing and Azira try their luck at the prize-grabbing machine game... And watched their money get sucked up. I'm telling ya, that game is rigged.

But then we realized we were late and quickly dashed back to the MRT station because Charlotte had band at 12.30... And we made her late. SORRY CHARLOTTE.

Then I called Shi Hui and asked her where they were and they were at Junction 8. So I trained down the red line with the Shoethrowers until I got off at Bishan to meet my Primary School friends. Went up to the arcade and met Shi Hui, Allistar and Jun Zuo. We went into the arcade and checked it out before exchanging money into tokens... and boys fail at token systems. How sad.

All four of us then played at this one crazy game, where they give you small balls and you have to throw it at targets on the screen, like scenario: you have to throw balls at mosquitos who are trying to suck a baby's blood, and not the baby. We PWNed them both. Another scenario was you had to "kill" a streaker on a train and not hit passengers on board, we PWNed them both as well. The trick to winning? Do what Allistar does, take as many balls as you can hold and throw them all at once at the screen. It works.

Haha, we even wound up at 4th on the high scores list. Look for CHONGFU people. : ]

Moved onto watching the boys play basketball on the basketball machine... and we thought they could beat the high scores... but then we misread. the high score was 104... and they scored 46/146... that's actually how many they scored versus how many times the balls hit the hoop... How tragic.

Then we went to the other side to play House of the Dead 4. I exchanged tokens and played with Jun Zuo halfway through level 1, and at the end, they calculated my accuracy, and it was 60% with an EXCELLENT under it. HOLY CRAP, I KNEW PLAYING THIS GAME AND DYING SEVERAL TIMES WOULD EVENTUALLY RAISE MY MARKSMANSHIP. Yay... But I died in the second level. As always. I HATE THAT SPIDER BOSS!

Funny part was, halfway through the game, Allistar came up to us and showed loads of token coins in his hand... and that he exchanged $10 [???] into tokens. O__O

Then we loitered around a bit until Han Wen joined us. We were at the prize-grabbing machine... And yes, it sucked up money again. How sad. Moved back into the arcade and then the boys played Time Crisis and more House of the Dead 4 when Shi Hui and I went out of the arcade to shop a while.

Turns out 'shop' was going into Minitoons, playing a bit with the toys inside and camwhore. :D It was all so cute. Went back into arcade to play our own games, which is that air hockey (no idea what you call it) game... and sia la! Shi Hui damn violent lor, hit and whack the puck so many times so painfully hard... Power... And she won me. XD

Then I went to go play Hyper Bishi Bashi Champion with Shi Hui, and the boys watched for a while before going back to their games. Haha, I managed to make it to most of the random rounds before I ran out of 'life'... Stupid NPCs. :D

The we left the arcade and went downstairs to meet Sheng Min. We then decided to go take Neoprints and went all the way down to Cinelesiure to the Neoprint shop. We had no idea what we were doing inside the photobooth during pictures. We swapped places, did cheesey poses and ran out of poses so we just stood there and smiled. Once we got our pictures, it was 3.30 pm and I needed to be home by 4 so I left and I saw the group walk towards Orchard on my way back to Somerset station.

Yup, today was a good day. An awesome day out with the Shoethrowers and later with 6 Sincere... And I didn't recognize Han Wen or Jun Zuo at first... Man, 3 years of growing up can do things to yourself.

"'Cause you're hot then you're cold. You're yes then you're no. You're in and you're out. You're up and you're down. You're wrong when it's right. It's black and it's white. We fight, we break up. We kiss, we make up. You, you don't really wanna stay, no. You, but you don't really wanna go, oh."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 11:15 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

Monday, November 3, 2008

This Could Be Painfully "Happy"

I just found out something that I think I've known all along, but just my painful happy bliss and ignorance have shadowed it from my conscience, making me live in denial and lies.

I think I knew all along.

I don't love myself.

I'm not happy.

And someone (detested in my eyes) has truthfully told me the truth: "You can't love others unless you love yourself."

Well, I can truly say I love my dog, Huttson. What does that say about me then? False feelings?

And then I wonder, how do you love yourself? How do you know you've accepted every flaw and blemish in your soul, skin, heart and mind? But then again, I guess only the real people can tell.

Then I wonder again. How do you be happy? But believe me, I've come across many truly happy people in my life. And they're an inspiration... Funny how I can't be like them no matter how hard I try.

Oh well. That's something I can work towards in 2009. Hopefully it won't be too late.

But on another hearty and hopeful note, I did my interview today and I got the job. I start next tuesday, 11th November [11/11!] and go through 3-day trial period... See whether I like the job before I ultimately decide whether I want to be in or out. But sadly I think I put almost my whole nov & dec holidays in for my avability for the job... so... You guys might not be seeing much of me. Hopefully they don't call last-minute on me and tell me they don't want me. Ugh, that would be nightmare-squared times hell-cubed.

Shit.

Better go get holiday homework done before I start.

"So mesmerizing, and so hypnotizing, I am captivated. I am vindicated! I am selfish! I am wrong! I am right! I swear I'm right! Swear I knew it all along. And I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well, I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 7:14 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Future's As Clear As Mud

Quiz ALNETTE ~~forced~~ tagged me to do. :D

1. Do you have any secrets?
Of course! Everyone has them... Except some people's are more deeper and darker than most.

2. Would you fall in love with a boy older than you?
... Ah-ha... I would... And have. Many times.

3. Do you enjoy going to school?
Truthfully, yes. For one reason: The people.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
Save 20%, spend 5%, repay debts and secure my family's got money 15%, 20% to charities and animal shelters, and the remaining 40% to building and investing in a animal hospital, hostel and farm for all abandoned and unwanted pets to live in permanently.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend's steady?
Heck no.

6. If you have to choose one person between your best friend and boyfriend, who will you choose?
My best friend. With good reason, because I don't have a boyfriend. Muhaha.

7. What is the thing you desire now?
To quit the damn stupid mock ASEAN thing and burn the assignment.

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Feel jealous and let it go. That's all I can pretty much do.

9. Is there anything that has made you extremely happy?
Yes. H-U-T-T-S-O-N.

10. What makes you angry?
A lot of freaking crap...

11. How would you see yourself in 10 years time?
Through a muddy crystal ball. ... Hah, no. I don't know, I truly have no idea where I'd end up at. Perhaps: Dead / Dying / having a good career / post-apocalyptic state

12. Who is currently the most important people to you?
My dog, my family, my friends.

13. What is the most important thing in life?
Breathe. Unless you wanna die. So good luck! :D

Haha, no... Right now? Maybe just... hold on. Look up and hold on.

14. What is more important? Family or Career?
Family. Career's just a part-time thing.

15. What is your favourite colour?
Red. But I like the rest of the colour spectrum really.

16. Would you give it all in a relationship?
Yes, I would.

17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you choose?
Huttson.

Me in love with two people does not mean I'm mature enough to choose.

18. What food would you like?
... I have too many.

19. What would you tell someone you like?
... Umm... Uh... Er... "You're a sweet guy" ... ? Hah, if I ever had the chance or COURAGE to do so.

Those who are tagged by me are:
1. Don't know.
2. Don't care.
3. Don't bother.
4. Don't give a damn.
5. Whoever wants to do this, just do it. :/

:DDD Done, Alnette!
_______________________

But anyway, went down to Zhi Qing's house today to work on the ASEAN paper thing... Turns out her computer couldn't support Hotmail... and in the end we didn't do anything at all.

Oh well. Leaves me to compile them together. Argh I hate this mock ASEAN thing...

But anyway, instead we watched 4 episodes of Hana Kimi... And it turns out to be a pretty good Japanese drama! :D Ghost-seeing-boy and Sekime and evil dude are cute in my eyes.

... Sigh, gotta work on ASEAN now... and tomorrow wish me luck, I'm going for that walk-in interview... :D

"Oh, crystal ball, crystal ball. Save us all, tell me life is beautiful. Mirror, mirror on the wall. Oh, crystal ball, hear my song. I'm fading out, everything I know is wrong, so put me where I belong."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 6:52 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Oh How Tragic

Sigh, this holiday suddenly becomes like a routine journey all over again.

Then again, maybe because I'm not doing anything productive... Homework, definitely not.

Well, I wanted to get a part-time job... but I checked with many places and asked around (believe me, I did) and I got rejected. People are either looking for full-time or people with a proper age [16]... or just have no vacancies...

I don't have that.

Even Mac rejected me. O__o

But I'm still looking around. I despeately need cash and something to do. I'm feeling like giving up... but I'm still pursuing.

But for now... homework... and ASEAN. Really.

"I'm waiting for my moment to come. I'm waiting for the movie to begin. I'm waiting for a revelation. I'm waiting for someone to count me in. Cause now I only see my dreams. In everything I touch, feel their cold hands on everything that I love. Cold like some magnificant skyline. Out of my reach. But always in my eyeline now. We're tumbling down. We're spiralling. Tied up to the ground. We're spiralling."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 12:34 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."