MORBID mind :: The world is as ugly as it is beautiful.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

2008 + 0001 = O LEVELS / GRADUATION / S4 / 2009

So here we are.

29 minutes to 2009.

And I might as well take this time to think through my life in 2008. We became sec 3. We all thought we wouldn't survive, couldn't handle the stress, the heat, the huge amounts of homework.

But look where we are now. We ... made it to next year. And ha, we'll definitely have to work harder than hard to get through next year.

So 2008... I went into 3A1. I met people from various classes... And though we didn't bond as well as I wanted us to, at least we got along. And we did pretty well as a class on a whole, not the best, but we still had something. We can work on it further in 2009...

2008... Literature, new subjects... I was able to cope with them. With initial difficulty, but I adjusted to it... And eventually it was alright.

2008... I fell for a real nice guy. I think many of you know who he is already... But anyway, I liked him for the whole year (after Jan) and he proved to be an awesome guy. Virtues, personality-wise. Yeah, he was great.

2008... I found out that I had trust issues with myself and others. I was insecure. I was constantly worried about what others thought of me. I couldn't help myself when I thought badly of myself. I kept thinking so lowly of myself.

4 more minutes...

2008... Goodbye 3A1. Goodbye sec 3 life. Goodbye all the great times we had. We're gonna be seniors. Secondary 4s. Woo for us! =D

2008. We had await. Now it's 2009. And I can hear fireworks in the distance.

Goodbye.

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 11:20 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

The Jungle

Last survey of 2oo8, ~~stolen~~ from AZIRA's blog. :D

________________________

You're thinking about someone, aren't you?
Oh yes, my husband, TDK JOKER. ♥♥♥ [watching Dark Knight DVD ZQ got me for christmas, THANK YOU ZHI QING!]

The last person you kissed hates you, why?
Huttson... Because I love to piss the lil' guy off. :D

What does your hair look like?
Short, layered, slight emo fringe.

What would you do if your best friend of the opposite sex liked you?
Feel a bit awkward. But tell him he deserves someone better. Unless it really persists, then fine, we'll see from there.

How many people do you trust?
Not many.

Why did your last relationship end?
I never had one... But the last guy I liked didn't like me back. But it was well worth it. I had a nice time liking him and knowing him a little actually.

Are you happy with your life?
Content at the most. I'm more grateful for it.

If you could go back in time, would you?
I kind of accept how things are now... but yeah, I would if I could.

How far back would you go?
To 2006, and relive secondary school all the way until here.

Last thing you did before bed last night?
FACEBOOK. Dammit, I hate it and yet I succumb.

Anything bothering you?
I don't think so...

If you could have anything, what would it be?
To pass all my O Level's with flying colours. :D

What's your favorite place you've been to?
... I don't know. I've been to a lot of places that I like.

Do you go to school?
Hell yeah.

Last time you cried?
It was quite a while ago. I was more on the verge of breaking and desiring the need for pain more really.

Is green your favorite color?
Not my favourite. But I support it because SLYTHERIN is green... Oooh Draco Malfoy♥

Do you text or call more?
Text message more... Hell lot more according to my bill.

Do you have a friend that you've known since you were little?
Yeah. Huttson... :D

How long have you had your facebook?
... Three weeks? Two? Don't know, don't care. I'm still wondering why I joined and conformed.

Last person to come over to your house?
I forgot... My uncle I presume.

What do you usually do first in the morning?
These few days? Sleep the morning away.

Do you have workout video's?
And one and two and three and fuck you, NO!

Favorite thing to shop for?
Books, clothes, Converse... S'long as I have money. :D

Is being single fun?
It's got more freedom and advantages, really. But yeah, sometimes.

Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
I've never dated, and if I did, I wonder if we can last that long.

What color are your eyes?
They appear black, but they're really dark brown. I know, I've checked and nearly blinded myself trying to find out the colour.

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
Not always, I do when absolutely necessary. Other than that, screw the seatbelt.

Will you talk to someone on the phone tonight?
I doubt it. Unless someone calls me to scream: "WE'RE FUXING SEC 4S!"

Can you honestly say looks don't matter?
Honestly, in a world where people judge on looks and refuse to emphatize anymore... Looks do matter. To those who care about keeping up appearances anyway.

Was today a good day?
Well, I finished a bit of lit, watched and laughed at The Shining with Zhi Qing, watched Alan Rickman as Marvin the robot in Hitchhiker's guide to galaxy, came home and slacked... It wasn't too bad. And I plan to countdown before sleeping. Ooh and I got the second edition of the Umbrella Academy second series, Dallas. Definitely not a bad day for sure. : ]

Do you get mad easily?
I guess so? I'm very easily irritable, sorry.

Where do you see yourself in 2 years?
... Finishing the first year of JC or Poly? I don't know. I honestly don't know.

Plans for tomorrow?
Literature homework. Period.

Last awkward moment?
Me proclaiming that the TDK Joker is my husband to my mom... Meh she'll get used to my marriage eventually.

Ever liked someone older than you?
... Since we're still in 2008, let's do a quick run-through shall we?

Gerard Way: 31
Jared Leto: 36
Sean Smith: 24
Cam Gigandet [James]: 26
Tom Felton [Draco Malfoy]: 21
TDK Joker: ??? [Definitely older]
C: 16
Other various MEN: 17++

What do you think?

Anything you want to tell someone?
Heh yeah. I'm not over him.

What were you doing last night at midnight?
COM-PU-TAA.

Anything you're giving up on?
Yes. Him. C. ... Heck, I already have actually.

How many letters are in your last name?
Let's count. N-E-O. SEVENTEEN! No, 3.

Could you go a month without talking to your best friend?
Maybe, if both of us are in different countries... But I can't function without my WALRUS.

Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
Depends on the people in the relationship. If they did nice stuff for each other, but didn't work out in the end, might still would have been worth it.

Who do you tell almost everything to?
Sarah, Shoethrowers, Nazry.

Do you think you've made a difference in anyone's life?
I highly doubt that. If I have, I must have seriously fucked up their life. : /

Could you honestly say you love someone right now?
Huttson and my mom. Anyone else (like him) ... well, not really.

What was the last thing you made into a heart?
... Um, this might sound disgusting but *true fact here* Drops of my dog's pee. I'M SERIOUS.

How tall is the last person you hugged?
Hahaha. Huttson's tiny, he makes me feel tall. But I love 'im... I think he's... half a metre?

Think about the last pair of socks you wore
Socks that you usually wear with flats.

What are you listening to right now?
Pretty in Punk - Fall Out Boy

What is something you wish you had more of?
Time.

Last time you had the butterflies, who were you thinking of?
C. ... Then later it was my husband.

Do you have an addiction? What is it?
Yes. My husband, MCR, JTHM, The Umbrella Academy... and so on and so forth.

Do you like poetry?
When it's depressing and emo, yes.

What were you last sad about?
Hearing news of war and stuff.

Do you mind when people talk about your sex life?
I'm too young for that. But we don't mind talking about sex.

Let's just say you were a serial killer. Would you get caught?
Serial killer? I'd rather be a homicidal maniac like Johnny! And no, I'll be like him, I'll never get caught... But I will get screwed up by my own insane mind.

... Either that or I'll follow my husband's footsteps in TDK. He's a man of his word, y'know. ;D

Has anyone ever said they would die for you?
No. But I'd die for some.

What is your favorite alcoholic drink?
... Root beer. That doesn't count, pretend it does.

Do you always answer your phone?
Very often, sometimes I'm too late in answering it...

Who were the last four people to send you a message on Facebook?
No one, nobody, no messages and I don't care.

Who of those last four people would you marry, if you had to?
No one sent me a message? And plus I'm already married.

Do you like thunderstorms?
Yes, especially when my mood is dark and gloomy.

Do you like the rain?
Yes, unless I'm having my school books with me or something.

When was the last time you were sick?
Hahahaha. Today. The flu and sore throat.

Have you ever been into drugs?
I'm interested in them, but no.

Say you were dying tomorrow. What would you want to eat last?
French Fries. They die with me.

Does something hurt on you right now?
There's a muscle strain on my back. Ahhhh.

What is your current mood?
tired, impassive. IDK.

What time do you normally go to sleep every day?
... Usually 'roung 11 or 12... But on weekends and holidays they stretch as far as 5 to 6 AM.

Do you like cheese?
Depends on which type.

Last shirt you wore?
The Dramatically Sporty Camp tee. Which I'm wearing now.

Name one thing that grosses you out?
Cockroaches. Bloody, demon little creatures. DIE FUCK YOU DIE!

If your best friend made out with your boyfriend/girlfriend, what would you do?
Slap both them ho's.

Ahah, I don't know. Feel hurt and scream, I guess?

Are you someone who remembers dates?
Sometimes I'm good and sometimes I'm not.

Would you rather get shot or get injected?
Truthfully, I'd rather get shot. In the temple, blowing my brains out. By myself.

Do you hate when people call you when you're sleeping?
... Well, that happened once or twice... And I lived through it. Not so bad.

What is the worst thing that has ever happened to you?
I had a lot of bad things happen to me... But I can never remember them. Thank goodness eh? Skip question. Next.

If your friend did something bad and you didn't know, but it had to do with you, would you expect them to be a man and tell you?
Bitch! Be a mann! Mus tell Micheeelllleee da truth, ya noe? Yo? Yo?

Hahaha... At least drop a message in the least.
____________________________________

"Disease's growing, it's epidemic. I'm scared that there ain't a cure. The world believes it and I'm going crazy, I cannot take any more. I'm so glad that I'll never fit in, that will never be me. Outcasts and girls with ambition, that's what I wanna see. Disasters all around. World despaired. Their only concern: Will they fuck up my hair?"

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 7:25 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

Monday, December 29, 2008

Tong Hua ; FAIRYTALE

Hello again. : ]

Taiwan was awesome. I had an awesome time there and I miss the cool (but insane) weather... I miss the bus rides which made me sick in the stomach but it was comforting... I miss our two guides and the bus driver... I miss the amusement park (I rode the 90 degree drop roller coaster)... And I miss seeing a beautiful woman open HIS mouth.

Hahahaa... Yes... Taiwan was AWESOME. And shockingly, I miss chinese back there. It's like being thrown into a world where you have to survive on chinese and eventually getting used to it actually helps. I hope it helps enough to get me a chance to pass next year... If not, then I'm mentally prepared to see a huge sparkling F9 again.

But for now... Stealing a quiz from NAZRY's blog.
________________________________________

If you won the lottery, what's the 1st thing you would buy?
I don't know...? Maybe a taco! :D

What if you found out you were adopted?
I'd probably go batshit insane trying to find out who my real parents are.

What would you do if you walked into your house only to find your boyfreind and your mother making out?
Well, I'd go like this: "O___O HOLYFUCKWHATDAHELLMYGODMYEYYYEEEESSSSSSStheyburnnnnn!!!"

What if a stranger told your your partner was cheating on you?
Demand proof from the little punk.

If you could adopt one personality trait from someone, who and what?
Ummmm... Sarah, her ability to (be seriously patient and) tolerate shit from people like me.

What would you want to experience if you found out you were dying?
... My stomach to be sick and my mind to be at peace... Or maybe a crazed adrenline rush. That works too.

What if you or your partner found out they were pregnant tomorrow?
... I hope the sex is good. XD

What if you found out your BFF was sleeping with your partner?
I'd commit manslaughter on two people and then suicide... Or I don't know... Feel hurt, scream and throw stuff at 'em. Whichever I feel like doing in that specific moment.

If you could have avoided living one year of your past, which one and why?
I'm okay with the years, but I do want to skip some months. Like the November/December holidays 2003, for PERSONAL reasons.

What if your dog crapped on your bed?
Scold him... Clean the sheets and throw them away... And get new ones! :D

What if you saw that George W Bush had fallen in a well in your back yard?
Hope he won't turn out like The Ring... Or maybe throw size 10 shoes at him and say "With Love, Shoethrowers, bitch!"

What would a person have to do to let you know WITHOUT telling you, that they didn't like you?
... Just say "Okay" and smile.

What if you found out your partner had a sex change?
Either I'd be supportive of his decision and go lesbian or... be weirded out, dump him/new-her but still be on friendly terms.

If you were to drown in a liquid, other than water, what would it be?
Well... I always wanted to know how it feel like drowning in apple juice...

If you could start a charity, what kind would you start?
Charity for Abandoned / Homeless House Pets and Strays

What if soda was illegal, would you still drink it?
Screw man, I can live without soda, just don't take away my Coke or Pepsi.

What if you could only have one friend, who would it be?
Huttson. Sorry you guys. :p

If the world ended tomorrow, do you think you will go to heaven?
Ahahahahahahahahaaahahahahaha. Ahaha. Hahaha. That was so funny. :'D No. I've done alot of things that would make Heaven hate me.

If you were paid 100 million dollars to sleep with an HIV positive person, would you?
Yeah, sure, why not? Could be interesting.

If you knew you couldnt get caught, would you rob a bank?
Muhahaha, YES! And I'll do it Joker[husband♥]-style like in The Dark Knight. :DDDD

If you could have a super power, what one would you choose?
To control, manipulate and create fire.

If you had to move out of the state you're in, what state would you move to?
... This is Singapore, we don't live in States, we live in surburban areas... Maybe I'll move to Orchard ... or Woodlands.

If you could be forgiven for one thing in your life, what would you choose?
For doing all the wrong things that have affected other people.

If you were to die in a public place, exactly what spot would you choose?
On the road. And become fugging roadkill.

If you had to have one song stuck in your head forever, what song would you choose?
Cubicles - My Chemical Romance

If you had to die in one of history's disasters, which one would you pick?
How 'bout WWII? I don't know, that's the only disaster I can think off right now.

If you could take revenge on any one you know, who, why, how?
... I have no one in mind right now... but if I did, it's because he/she was being a fucking asshole who needs to die.

And I'd kill him/her through slow, tedious torture, like drilling into his ear, stabbing his eye, breaking off his limbs (following Johnny the Homicidal Maniac's lovely explicit examples or the Walking Dead's Michonne-torturing-the-Governor) etc.

But that's only in my mind. Reality, I'd probably just give them death glares and finger-signs.

If you could have someone else's thoughts though your own body, who, why?
I'd have Huttson's thoughts in my mind... Because I'm always wondering what the little fella is thinking...

If you could choose how you die, how would it happen?
Either suicide or some freak accident.

If you could instantly play an instrument you never played, which one?
ELECTRIC GUITAR!!! I've always wanted to play one, let alone try it...

If you could solve one unsolved crime, which one would you solve?
I'm not sure of unsolved crimes. But there was one crime involving a teenaged boy accused of murdering some young boys even though the teenaged boy was purely (?) innocent, but he was different and a suspect because he listened to Heavy Metal back in the day when that music was frowned upon... No idea about the evidence. But yeah, I'd like to solve that crime.

If you could discover one medical cure, what would it be for?
HIV/AIDS. We need that. Seriously.

If you could undo one lie in your life, what would it be, and why?
... For safety reasons, I will not state.

If you were given a race horse, what would you name it?
RUN, BITCH, RUN!

If you could sing one song, beautifully and perfectly, what one?
I'm A Riot? You're A Fucking Riot! - The Blackout

If you could warn yourself in the past, about something, what would it be?
I'd warn myself not to get too flustered and expectant.

If you could eliminate one word from english vocab, what would it be?
I don't know... I'm pretty happy with the english world...

If you had inverted nippes, would you get surgery to correct it?
What the hell are those?!

If you lost all your hair, would you wear wigs or embrace your new look?
Embrace it. It'll grow back. And hopefully in better condition than my hair now.

What if your best friend of the same sex proposed marriage to you?
O___o I would let her down easy before screaming: "I LIKE MEN!"

What if you could literally be a virgin again, would you want to?
Sure, and we can lose it ALLLLLL over again. XD

If given five dollars to spend in a dollar store, what would you buy?
A coke, some chips, cotton buds, tissue paper... Candy.

If you could fly, would it be with wings, a cape, fairy dust...ect.?
Demon wings... THEY ARE JUST SO COOL!

If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Rice. Staple food. I desperately need it.

If you could take back one thing you said recently, what would it be?
"What the fuck is that!?"

If you had to keep your initials, but change your name, what would it be?
Marcella "Mars" Nokomis Yule Jay

If you could get rid of a fear, which would it be?
Fear of what people think about me. BUT THAT WILL ALL CHANGE.

If forced to make out with an animal, what animal do you choose?
My dog...

If you could choose your age of death, what would that age be?
19. It'll be how old I am when the world ends in 2012.

If your body odor was a food scent, what food would you want to smell like?
FRENCH FRIES. :D

If you had your own line of something, what would it be?
Graphic Novels, Comic Books... Those stuff. : ]

If you were a crayon color, which would you be?
Red.

If in a circus, who would you be in the show?
The morbid ringleader who shows off her pretty little freaks that terrorize the audience in those creepy, scary freakshow circuses. :D [I do not wanna end in like Britney Spears' circus]

If your life could have the same outcomes as a movie, what movie?
... O__o Um... Sweeney Todd. I don't mind getting killed after going a bit... off.

If you could re-live one year of your life so far, what year would it be?
Truthfully... I'd like to relive 2008... But with more experience on what to do.

If something were to be named after you, what would you want it to be?
A Charity rock concert that travelled the world.

If you could change one thing about today, what would it be?
That I actually did my lit homework instead of doing this survey. DAMMIT.

If you were given a year supply of something, what would it be?
Time. I desperately need it.

If you were given a prop from a movie, what movie would it be?
Um... I'd love to bring home the the Eye of Sauron (literally, the seeing eye tower) from LOTR before it got destroyed in the last movie... :D

What if a friend asked you to go with her to get an abortion?
I'd support her all the way.

What if you caught one of your parents cheating on the other?
Ahaha. This isn't a "What if" question. Already happened. And look at me, I got shocked, hurt, mad, but I'm fine.

What if you found out you and your partner were blood related?
Could this be considered incest? Oh well, let's just burn the documents and pretend nothing's happened.
___________________________________

Oh Drama tomorrow... Or today. My God... I should have done lit instead of this...

"Wo yuan bian cheng tong hua li, ni ai de na ge tian shi. Zhang kai shuang shou bian cheng chi bang shou hu ni. Ni yao xiang xin, xiang xin wo men hui xiang tong hua gu shi li. Xin fu he kuai le shi jie ju."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 11:38 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Satisfy

So yesterday I worked two jobs. One, helped out at the uniform shop they set up in school and helped sec 1s pick out their uniforms with their parents. And two, helping out with Charlotte's Mom's lecture.

I must say, the work experience was very rewarding, despite me running around doing stuff, but still, very fun. Never mind the pay (though I felt so... rewarded with it) but this was a rather pleasant experience, though it was a bit rushed and definitely crazy.

From working in a uniform business, legs are sore from running around... But muhaha, we caught glimpses of the new batch of 2009 sec 1s... How lucky, they're coming in during the ten-year anniversary. Lucky them, eh? And how... funny we're graduating... Sigh... This is all too fast.

Ooh, and got a full speculation of the school. It's YELLOW. SUNSHINE yellow. Wow. I feel... happy ... and scared.

... I am so gonna look forward to the first few mentions of the school colour when the principal addresses it.

But anyway, signing off now guys. Cya 'round. :]

"Stop making plans, start making sense. Don't you believe any word they said. Sparked up, sparked up like a book of matches. Falling through the night and rising from the ashes. I'll never let you go. Don't ever forget. Tell me you'll remember. Forever young. I'll never let you fall. It's not over yet.You and me forever. Forever young, we're forever young."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 9:50 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

Monday, December 15, 2008

Twilight ... Riiiiight

So the Twilight movie was... interesting.

I'm not gonna spoil it here and talk about how different the book was to the movie [no much].

But I can definitely say this isn't the best vampire romance movie I've seen in my life, and I can definitely say I don't understand what's so awesome about the movie... (Book's better). To honestly say, I could almost be disappointed with it. It just didn't contain the... dark forbidden-love essence that the book had... Even the dark weather in the movie didn't seem to have a dark ambience.

BUT I can definitely say the highlight of the movie was JAMES [hallejulah Cam Gigandet]... Seriously, he was so gorgeous and mysterious in it. Plus he had such an intriguing accent, and he was so graceful in his moves... I mean he was incredible... But I was rather disappointed with the way things were in the end. Seriously, he's a vampire! They're all vampires! And that was [ SPOILER AHEAD ] how they killed James?! So fast?! He didn't even put up a struggle?! Seriously I'm disappointed.

But still, movie was alright though. Not the best vampire movie around (in my opinion, The Queen of the Damned was much better) but still, it's good.

Sigghhh. James was just so sexy... And ooh! I saw 2 cute guys today at Plaza Sing. I never thought I'd see him again, but wow, I did. How... sweet. :D I really should have said Drug Talk... Maybe he would remember.

"Come girl, pull your chair up next to mine. I'm not gonna believe you! And make sure you don't forget that smile. Why don't you come and find me? So come tell me, what's your story? He’d better stay away from you! I've got time to kill, so entertain me."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 9:29 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

Saturday, December 13, 2008

HEY GIRL HAYYY

So two days ago it was the one-year anniversary (well, I have no other word to call it) of MCR coming to perform in Singapore.

My first concert ever.

And I had this bizarre urge to stand outside the Max Pavilion and scream: "I LOVE YOU MCR! I LOVE YOU GERARD WAY!!!" [by some miracle maybe he'll be inside hearing my adoring fan message for him]

LULZ at my weird fangirl antics.

But sighhh, it is already the second week into December. Homework's still not done. My writing skills have degraded... I seriously didn't like the write-up for the book report I did on The Shining. It just sounds half-hearted and lazily written up... Crap, I tried to express how I felt about that book, I tried to EXPLAIN the book's plot. But it proves to be hard. Errrggghhhh. WTH is wrong with me??? I wanted to be homework-oriented and a hard worker during this holiday.

But look what turned out.

On the brighter side, I discussed next year's resolutions with Nazry... And I want to fulfill all of them. Starting with loving myself.

And forming the Shoethrowers Lonely Hearts Club. We desperately (or I myself perhaps?) need one.

Quoting from Praise... Pressure is fun. Going back to school would be such a great experience to relive... Oh and OPSS is now bloody yellow, lime green and orange. WHAT DID THEY DO TO OUR SCHOOL?!?!!?

"I don't want to try now. All that's lefts goodbye to find a way that I can tell you. But I gotta do it, I gotta do it, I gotta do it. I hate this part. ... Oh, I hate this part right here. I hate this part right here. I just can't take these tears. I hate this part right here."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 11:51 AM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The Crimson

My blog is now super red (with hints of yellow and white and black). Doest' thou like it!?

Meh, I need to get started on homework and finish it all up quickly before my damn guilt eats me when it becomes last-minute work...

BUT THERE'S NO FLAMING MOTIVATION OR INSPIRATION TO DO IT!!!

But, heh, doing a little survey from AZIRA's blog first. :D
______________________________

Do you hold grudges easily?
Not entirely, usually I just forget about it and move on.

Do you suffer pain from a past hurt?
ALLLL the time.

In this world, what makes you the happiest?
A lot of things. But it makes me more content than happy really.

What are your thoughts on sex before marriage?
It's sick that everybody's (well, you generally get the idea) already doing it - engaged or otherwise. Some traditions are no longer existant.

Do you believe colors express your personality?
Not exactly. They can be sometimes quite misleading and far too ambiguous.

Are you a private person?
When it comes to the right time.

Who do you respect the most?
People who deserve respect. And even then, I can intenionally / unintenionally disrespect them.

What is an interest of yours that others would find silly?
... Talking to all the various personalities and demons in my little twisted mind, and out loud at times.

What are your thoughts on the world?
It USED to be a happy place. Look what we have now? Global warming, global economic crisis, world hunger, overpopulation, AIDS/HIV, Bird Flu (just returned as I've learnt from yesterday night's news)... You get the bloody picture.

I'm personally hoping - and waiting - for it to end.

Do you believe there is a god?
Yes, no, maybe? Don't know at all.

Do you fall for romance movies?
Well, even if they are cheesey and cliche, yeah.

Do you fall in love too quickly?
"Love" is a strong word here. I'm rather too impulsive in liking someone, but yeah, I do.

Do you believe in destiny (fate)?
I believe in fate, in a Karma way. Screw destiny, it doesn't always happen.

Do you catch yourself running from situations?
I do, but I always have to confront them one day (despite me hating confrontations with a bloody vengeance).

What would you consider to be your best talent?
I honestly don't know.

Which do you value more, family or friends?
Family. Cause my friends are my family, and so's my family. But you get the point, I value both of them like hell.

How do you define love?
From Billy & Mandy, "LOVE is EVOL spelt backwards"

Do you like card games?
Yeah.

Ever been swimming in a lake or river?
Does the lazy river at Wild Wild Wet count? If not, then no.

Have you ever been on a horse?
Yesss, when I was shit young.

Are you afraid of the dark?
Yes. THERE'S STUFF IN THERE.

Do you get distracted easily?
It depends. If I'm really engrossed in something, then no. Otherwise, yessss.

What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Was doodling, scribbling and drawing in a written diary of mine, thinking at the same time.

Is this year the best year of your life?
Second-best, so far. I'll compare this to other years up until I die (it won't be long).

Do you have any strange phobias?
I'm shit scared of vomiting and choking...

Is it easier to forgive or to forget?
Forget.

Do you give out second chances too easily?
Yeahhh, but it depends on the person and his offences. REALLY.

Have you dated people who weren't good to you?
Never dated before. But I've been neutral to people who were nasty to me.

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Depends on that person. But, yeah.

When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
Yesterday.

Have you done anything you regret in 2008 so far?
Like, what? 70% of 2008? Yes, loads.

Is there any emotion you're trying to avoid right now?
As of now, not really. But other times, I try to avoid Anti [the name I call all my negative emotions that manifest into a human body appearance and terrorizes my other emotions and thoughts] see how weird I am?

Have you ever slapped anyone?
Yes... And it felt great.

Have you ever been called Prince/Princess?
Ahahaha... Only during the Dramatically Sporty Camp. I had to act as a Princess.

Do you wear make up everyday?
No. I used to wear eyeliner, but it hurt my eyes.

Who do you go to when you need someone to talk to?
Sarah, Nazry, the Shoethrowers... My mom, Huttson.

Are you really into anyone right now?
Well, truthfully I'm trying to get out of that someone I'm into. It proves to be hard.

Without looking them up, could you list the seven deadly sins?
Yes. Wrath, Gluttony, Pride, Sloth, Lust, Greed and Envy. It's like general knowledge to me, but not too sure whether these really ARE the REAL seven deadly sins.

In the past two days, what times have you gone to bed?
12... and... after 1 I think? It was bloody late for all I know.

Whats the last movie you saw in theaters and with who?
I can't remember... It's been waa-aayy too long.

What is one thing you always seem to have in your freezer?
Ice. Yes... ice.

Do you complain when you're bored, or do you look for something to do?
I look for something to do (but I'm rarely bored, I got my mind to entertain me). Because I absolutely fucking HATE it when someone complains they're bored.

Why are so many single people bitter on Valentine's day?
Well, maybe they're not getting any luck in love.

Do you personally like Valentine's day?
I don't actually care, to the truthful. It's just a fun day to go all, "HAY I LUFF U BITCH HUGGS AND KISSES MUUUAAAHHHH". Is that just me?

What were you doing at 7:00 am?
I was sleeping... And being rudely awakened by my fatass brother?

Have you ever been to North Dakota?
Nope. Never been outta Asia (excluding Australia and NZ)

Have you ever done yoga?
Nooo...

What's the worst thing you've done to your current cell phone?
As far as it hurts me, dropping it on the floor. 3 times, I think.

Are any of your friends lifeguards?
Nope.

When do you plan on moving out of your parents house?
When I'm gonna live in another country for work? Or maybe when I can be independent enough to live by myself.

What's your favorite Bath & Body Work's scent, if you shop there?
Is there even a Bath & Body Work in Singapore?!

What's the last thing you baked?
Nothing. I don't bake. If I bake, the Gates of Hell will be unleashed and all the demons will find their way onto this plane through my horrendous baking...

If you have siblings, which one of you is going to be married first?
My brother. I don't want to be married. But even for his (wife's) sake, I hope he doesn't get married.

What are the last three books you read?
The Shining by Stephen King, The Dark Night movie novel Charlotte lent me... And currently reading Misery by Stephen King.

Does anyone in your family have a GPS system?
Nope, or at least I don't know.

What was the last pair of shoes you wore?
My black (love them) Converse.

What were the last three things you Googled or looked up?
Generally just song lyrics... And the definitions of words, "Anti" is one of 'em.

What type of food have you always wanted to try?
Loads of stuff... Stuff that I've never tried before.

Do you own more than 50 DVDs?
I think so...? Not even sure if they're DVDs.

Who was the last person in your family to cook you breakfast?
Mother Dearest.

What channel is your TV on right now?
TV's off right now. But I'm gonna watch the Simpsons later.

Is there anything you're obsessed with?
My Chemical Romance, Draco Malfoy, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, TDK Joker (Hubbyyy♥), James from the Twilight move... Why yes, yes I do. : ]

Are you a good flirt?
Fuck no.

Have you been called a tease?
FUCK no. And thank god for that.

Know anyone that will be getting married soon?
Nooo.

Has anyone told you a secret that if told would cause some drama?
Ummm... Yes? Not entirely sure.

Who was the last person to tell you they trusted you?
It was a verryy long time ago.

Do you know anyone that drives a truck?
My cousins' uncle? Don't know if he does now.

Would you ever get your eyebrow pierced?
Yeah, it looks cool and fun actually. But I'd rather get my lips pierced... If only it didn't go awry if I grew old.

Do you eat those little 100 calorie packs of things?
I don't know if I do?

Besides an animal, do you know what a cougar is?
Sounds like a cigarette brand. But I'm definitely wrong. GOOGLE CHECK.

Is your boss male?
I have no boss. But my principal's female.

Where will you be tomorrow at 2:30pm?
Probably outside with Zhi Qing? Who knows.

What's the plan for you in the next few hours?
No plan. Just be spontaneous. But I do wanna catch the Simpsons.
______________________________

Well, that was long. :/

"And it pulses through, the desire to change, to deconstruct all of my, all of my, past failings. But where to begin, because when you live in sin. It’s hard to look at saints,without them reflecting your jet black aura back on you. And all I have is hope my inner burn’s not fading, I’ll wipe the blood from my cheek and get on with my day. "

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 4:46 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

You're YES then you're NO

Someone remind me not to read psychotic comics about a homicidal maniac RIGHT before bed at - like what? - 12am in the morning? And not to eat blackcurrent-flavoured jellies as well...

I swear doing this gives me weird dreams - SO WEIRD - that I start to question whether it's real or not. Or just some twisted illusion of the truth my subconscious mind likes to plagurize upon little old confused me.

Ouch.

But seriously now, all these weird dreams I'm having lately are turning into nightmares in reality for me. Slaving over myself thinking and thinking... Ugh. And the way it falsely keeps my hopes up and reality beating me down... Just hurts.

The best dreams ever don't come so awesome or bittersweet anymore. They're just downright irritating now.

But anyway, 9:49 AM as I state this on my blog:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ZHI QING! YOU'RE finally 15!

Good for you. After months and months of tedious waiting.

"I'm the oracle in my chest, let the guitar scream like a fascist. Sweat it out, shut your mouth, free love on the streets, but in the alley it ain't that cheap now. I don't care what you think, as long as it's about me. The best of us can find happiness in misery."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 9:37 AM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Sweet Dreams Are Made of These

Last night [4-5/12] I had a dream.

The best dream ever. Of all dreams I've ever had.

But like all good things comes to an end, the dream ended.

Even though it's just a dream and definitely has no possibility of ever becoming reality (maybe for me, for someone else maybe it will), I'm still smiling at the dream.

Well, anyway, Charmaine's party was a real disaster. It was messy and chaotic... But still very fun actually. It overall went well. Couldn't say there was much surprise, but it went alright.

Damn allergies that act up.

But anyway, I'll be sleeping soon. And I really hope for that sweet dream again. Which I can't state here for reasons because it's concerns personal stuff and my feelings, but I never knew talking to someone in your dream and falling into silent understanding can be so ... bittersweet.

______________________________________and for fun

Your Fantasy Boyfriend is James from Twilight

Your fantasy boyfriend isn't just a vampire... he's a dark, merciless vampire who'll suck your blood the first chance he gets. Think about it -- that HAS to be more exciting than dating a vegetarian vamp! James is a tracker, and once he's after something, he's not going to give up until he finds it. Right now, he's after you. James is known to be "unusually gifted" -- aren't you the least bit curious how he got that reputation? The next time he's chasing you, you could always slow down and find out!

oh baby yessss

"You take the pieces of the dreams that you have cause you don't like the way they seem to be going. You cut them up and spread them out on the floor. You're full of hope as you begin rearranging, put it all back together. But anyway you look at things and try. The lovers are losing."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 1:05 AM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

Monday, December 1, 2008

Wild Wild Wild & Wet

Soooo.

I went to Wild Wild Wet with the WALRUS. My Jelly Donut-goodness-filled best friend SARAH TANNY.

And... We had a hell load of fun. Whether it's terrorizing people at the water playground (picking on and sabo-ing people with the water guns and such and sliding down the slides in the NOT-recommended ways), or cruising down the lazy river using llifevests as chairs (THEY ACTUALLY HELP OUR ASSES FLOAT), or drowning and riding the waves in the tsunami pool or screaming and cheering down the huge tube ride or even tossing and slapping each other around in a foam party (yes they actually had one / we've so got to have a foam party for prom)...

Yes, we had fun. Too bad we didn't go on the Samsung ride... or the two slides where you have to take your cover-up clothes off. Haha, just sitting here on this chair I can feel the motion of the waves sweeping my senses... Nauseating. I know I'm gonna have a hard time sleeping. Sigh~ the drawbacks of suffering from motion sickness.

And ooh, yes. My mom's jealous of my new "tan". Apparently, being the stupid little lazy bum I was, I didn't put sunblock lotion on my skin... And my face hurts. It is red and hella sunburned. The black nail polish I sloppily put on my nails are chipping, but whatever. I was bored when I put it on anyway. Arghhh, my face hurts.

But maybe next Monday or somewhat we'll have just as much fun at Escape... hopefully with all the Shoethrowers. :D And it wouldn't be too hot out.

Today is December the FIRST. Before I move onto more pressing issues, I'd be an ignorant and selfish prick by realizing that I only have one more month to finish up my holiday homework, relax, party, go holiday-batshit-insane and have fun with my friends before we all return to school. Sigh... I miss it, but really now. I'm scared of school. Sec 4, ladies and gentlemen. This is all too fast.

On other issues, today is also World AIDS day. And though I'm not exactly too sure about it, I heard about cases about it and such... And I really just want to cry now. AIDS, war, Thailiand Turmoil... all that inhuman, terrible, unnecessary crap that destroys this place, just hurts.

Ugh. The world is suddenly so sickening.

"If you are what you say you are, a superstar, then have no fear, the camera's here. And the microphones and they wanna know. Oh, oh, oh, oh."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 10:08 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."