Today was awesome! =D

Started out with having a big cookie (from Subway! :D) for breakfast (I rarely have breakfast in the morning). Went to school, traffic duty... Blah blah blah...

SKIP TO RECESS. Overheard from someone that it was Mrs. Rupesh's birthday next Tuesday, so we wanted to sing her Happy birthday. Turns out 3A1 wasn't the only ones. 3A2 sang for her, as well as 3S2 councillors (Life Skills period in the AVA room). And even after school when the councillors (a few sec 4s and sec 3s) brought a cake to Mrs Rupesh when she was doing Green Notebook checks. It was embarassing but flattering to her. XD Hah.

There's nothing like having your beloved councillor kids serving you up a birthday cake with a single candle in the middle of a busy, bustling foyer when you're conducting Notebook checks, eh?

Lulz. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MRS. RUPESH!

But anyway, after that we headed down to St. Nicks' Girls School for the N6 Cluster Dance. It went alright, we were a bit all-over-the-place and crazy. But after the dance was a sports carnival, ran off with Kian Hui, Sarah and Praise to the SKIPPING, ARCHERY, GOLF, STACKING CUPS and INLINE SKATING place. It was so fun, the breakdown:

SKIPPING :: Was easy, skipped 25 consecutive times (even when I told Kian Hui that I'd skip 50 times XD), when finished ran off to the Archery corner. Praise & Kian Hui joined along, they left their station! Lol ok.

ARCHERY :: It was so damn fun! I had two shots, first shot I hit the red target, second shot I was SO DAMN CLOSE to hitting the balloon target. Argh. But it was so fun! I seriously think maybe I should join an archery course. =D

GOLF :: Ran off to golf course, at first I lined up at another (very short, very small) golf course, when this obnoxious little boy just cut in between me. I was slightly amused but very annoyed and told that damn kid I was queueing first, he begged me to let him go first, but finally went to the back when I got called over by Sarah to join her golf course.

Obnoxious kid was happy, that ho.

Got a hole-in-one in my second try. :D! Went to go get a stamp when Obnoxious kid cut in between me A-FUCKING-GAIN! What the hell, this damn little Primary school kid. Youngsters these days... The generation's getting more and more worse by the minute. UGH.

STACKING CUPS :: Zhi Qing brought me, Sarah and Praise over to the stacking cups place area. And it was fun! Stacking cups at the fastest speed was so fun! Haha, I even tried stacking a 6-cup, 3-storey pyramid... I kinda got messed up and I thought one of my cups was missing. But it was still so cool.

INLINE SKATING :: Wow. Wowee. That was interesting. Praise had troubles balancing (as did I). We didn't have much time because they were packing all the stuff back inside their van, so we cruised around for less than a few seconds before we took off our gear and headed back. The boys came running over telling us we had to go back.

Well, someone took my stamp book. But at least I had the stamps on my arm so I managed to collect my free gift anyway.

Me: *staring at girl at booth* "Um... Someone took my stamp book, but I got proof." *shows arm*
Girl: *staring at arm* ... *staring some more* Oh! Take ah! *motions to bottles* *to her friend* That's so smart...

I didn't hear anymore, I sped off to go join the councillors on their way back to the bus. Praise, Jeckie, Chang Hee and a few engaged in water fight, ahhh such a waste of precious water but so much fun.

Ate dinner at Long John Sliver's with Haziqah, Nazry and Praise. Then went home. Siggghhhh. Tomorrow is Flag Day/CIP! :D We be asking for donations, mon. =D

Better sleep early. Night peeps...

"'Cause if you're not really here, then the stars don't even matter. Now I'm filled to the top with fear, but it's all just a bunch of matter. 'Cause if you're not really here, then I don't want to be either. I wanna be next to you. Black and gold, black and gold, black and gold."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 8:40 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

I just got one question to ask: Do you REALLY care? Heck, the real question I ought to be asking here is DO YOU EVEN FUCKING CARE?!

I think I'm waging a war with my personal issues and thoughts right now. I'm seriously feeling the pressure of being in Sec 3. Suddenly I just realized I forgot everything in sec 2 and the earlier half of this year.

What's worse is I think I'm getting more frustrated and paranoid. I can't stay downstairs by myself in the night, my hands are trembling and twitching a lot more, I'm getting headaches makes the back of my eyes itch and tremble and on top of that I'm starting to really feel terribly depressed and agitated even at the simplest things.

I'm starting to wonder about everything about my life.

And I'm really, really starting to feel stirrings of inner feelings of powerful emotions inside me, and the more I don't release it, the more it builds up and I'm really, really trying not to scream and yell at people these days.

It's a miracle how I'm able to live my life with all this suppressed emotions and hypocrisy in me.

... And I love Avenged Sevenfold, came across one of their hard-rocking songs that instantly lifted up my mood, their lyrics were pretty fitting to my mood as well.

Thank God for A7X.

FOR FUTURE REF INCASE I EVER FEEL THIS FUCKED-UP AGAIN
Desecrate Through Reverance
LYRiCS

"Hard news, taken harder, don't look to me. Disappointed, we don't agree, I don't need your praise... (Don't look my way for help, from the beginning you came to me!) Never asked you to like me, I don't want your praise (We won't play your games!) Look down on me, spit in my face, you're nothing to me, not to me! ... But it's not true, I don't need you. Don't waste your time, and don't waste mine. I'm not your friend, I won't soothe your soul. And in the end you're all dead to me..."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 6:50 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

Alright, people!

After being told by Shi Qi (councillor attire check) that my fringe was long (went beyond eyebrows), I have decided (with much deliberating with friends and myself) to...

GROW AN EMO FRINGE!

DUNDUNDUN!!!

... Well, not really an emo fringe, it's just the fringe is long enough to cover maybe my eyes, it'll be thin though...

Like this:



or this:




or finally just this:


[Ignore the blonde hair and spikiness, mine won't be like that]

In any other case, I just wanted this fringe cause I thought it was cool, not cause it was all "emo" and shit. Besides, I can do the hairflip and headbang with this thing! :D

So it'll take a while. I'll porbably grow my hair till the end of the year (Tian Tian's advice :D), reborn the fringe (Sarah's advice), then get it cut! :D Hopefully by then I'll actually achieve something. But for now I'm gonna have to pin up my fringe whenever I go to school... This is gonna be awkward.

Can you imagine me with short hair and an "emo" fringe? ... I can't, but hopefully I'll see how it looks like. But I gotta go consult my mom first... Oh my mom said it's okay. I can't reborn it though.

Ah.

Oh and by the way, in case you're reading this:
HAAAAIIIII ANDY [yes the sec 4 from council one, you]!!! :D tag me :D

"I stare into your eyes, I stare into your eyes until the tears start to pour rivers down your face, I can't ignore! It calls out my name, anger takes it's hold, it's hold. But it won't stop cause I have no control! I have no control!"

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 9:48 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

Currently listening to: THE BLACK PARADE IS DEAD! Live @ Mexico City [The Sharpest Lives] :D

:D THIS CD FUCKING ROCKS!!!

*cough* Well anyway, this week has been eventful. Tiring, but eventful.

Well, this week was me & Nazry's week to pull the flag (sadly on Monday we missed out cause of Youth Day). And I must say... It was rather fun. And nerve-wrecking.

[Welcome to the Black Parade! :DD!!!♥♥♥]

Tuesday, I reached the top, but Nazry was slightly slow (my fault...), Wednesday, it rained, so we got to pull the flag in the rain! With umbrellas, Zahin held an umbrella for Nazry, Ms. Soo held an umbrella for me (I feel so honoured! :'D). Thursday, assembly in the hall due to wet weather. Got to raise the flags using the SHORT poles, and the National Athem sped up (well... that saved us some trouble). And today... Eeehhhh. My fault again for slowing Nazry down (5 seconds of silence and creakiness). The rope was rubbing against my leg like some bug or something (I freaked at that).

But to all the sec 3's who have and haven't pulled the flag, ME AND NAZRY WERE THE FIRST TO PULL IN WET WEATHER AND PULL THE FLAGS IN THE HALL! (I think?) I feel so honoured to be there with you, NAZRRRYYYYY -emosobb-

[ooh, I Don't Love You's on now :'D]

Concerning cheering for Team Singapore... It went alright I guess. We were partially a wreck onstage, but I guess we did alright at the second cheer. But I'm glad it's over, least I can finally concentrate on school now.

[House of Wolves. There was a creepy, awesome start to the song. xD]

But anyway, had a fun day today. The first half was boring, but the second half of the day was fun. In English, we had a conversation about gays, lesbians, transsexuals and inter-racial marriages. I must say, I have never heard such a dirty, badasscrazy topic discussion like that before! Damn the boys and their curious questions! XD

[Interlude... Such a sweet, melancholy tune... Cancer now :D]

Oh plus, there was a (dead?) cockroach hanging around our class front door. We kept making comments about it being dead and stuff. Heck, during Mr Goh's period, it became so hilarious.

Mr. Goh: "If that cockroach was in my house, it'd be dead."
Someone: "Aiyo! Mr. Goh, you so cruel!"
Mr. Goh: "You know, if there was a nuclear war, the cockroach is the only bug that can survive? That means we'd all be dead and the cockroaches are all crawling over our dead bodies."
Someone: "So you'd rather be a cockroach?"
Mr. Goh: "I'd rather be dead."

Dude... The hell...

[HOLY SHIT IT'S MAMA NOW! We all go to hell...]

In the end, Ms. Amu (sp?) [temp. English teacher] killed it with one whack of the broom outside of class (I saw it happening when I was coming back from recess duty). And everyone was distraught but happy.

Who would have known?

Then came Life Skills. Didn't do anything much but solve admin stuff. Woo, Racial Harmony Day is gonna be so chaotic.

Anyway, went home with Sarah, met Ian, Su Min and Azira along the way. Man this is the first time I've been home early in a VERY long time.

"And if you would call me your sweetheart, I'd maybe then sing you a song. But there's shit that I've done, with this fuck of a gun, you would cry out your eyes all along. ... Ha. Haha. Haha! Hahaha! A surprise party? For me?! ... You shouldn't have..." - Mama, live @ Mexico city

[HOLY CRAP IT'S SLEEP! My most favourite MCR song ever. ♥♥♥]

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 4:58 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

It's Youth Day holiday today! :D

And me and Sarah went out. Starting at 10 am. Yes, that early. Breakfasted at Mac's.

Anyway, took 851 to the National Library down at Bugis, watched Sarah as she painstakingly returned all her favourite books (plus a one-week overdue one... =/) and then journeyed down to Bugis street to look for my hoodie...

Sadly I couldn't find any. Or any that was affordable enough for me to even look at. So we went down to the Peninsula instead (Emo Central ♥) and bought my black-and-white-striped hoodie. :D It's made of thin material fit for Singapore's humid and hot weather and the stripes make me look "punk" and like I belong in jail. Wow.

And on the way to the Esplanade, we started discussing who should play the part of the characters in LOTR... It was so damn hilarious. We didn't have many people to match, so we sometimes randomly picked who was to be who.
like...
Frodo: Farhan
Sam: Samuel
Gandalf the Grey/White: Mr. Pang. xD
The Elf King (Elrond): Wei Zhe... xD
GOLLUM: Zhi Qing. xDDDD
Eowyn: Sarah.
King of Rohan (I think - Thoeden): Me. xD [I died under a horse man...]
Aragon: Charlotte [we were that desperate!]
Arwen: Azira

Anyone here who wants to be on the list and/or is unhappy with the list, you may go ahead and yell at me when I go back to school... [BUT DON'T FLAME MY TAGBOARD]

So anyway, back to our outing, went to Esplanade library (got caught in the rain - started using hoddie) and Sarah got her wanted-to-borrow DVD. We then went to HMV to go get Sarah's WWRY CD... I was waiting for her when a VERY VERY familiar tune came on and I went wild. The song playing was MCR's "Welcome to the Black Parade" LIVE and that hit me that their DVD was in stock - The Black Parade Is Dead! ... I bought it. Instantly. After second thoughts. BUT WOO I GOT THE GOOD AND THE GOLD MAN! Two hours of live footage from the Mexico concert... and Gerard Way's amazing (hot) voice.

Ahhh! ♥♥♥

After that, went off to Donut Factory at Suntec and ate. The double chocolate donuts hate me with a vengeance... When I took an innocent bite out of it, GLUBGLUB, loads of melted milk chocolate spilt over my hand. Thank GOD none of it got onto my hoodie.

Then headed down to Chinatown to buy my anti-FRIZZ, Sarah, yes, anti-FRIZZ, hair serum... It was crazy. I had to call my mom twice just to get an idea of where to go. Finally I got my serum and we walked down to Clarke Quay and bought ice creams.

What happened after that was pure MADNEZZ. We were on our way home when Zhi Qing called us and asked us where we were. Amazingly, we were on the same train going back to Yishun. So at NEWTON, Sarah and I got off, expecting Zhi Qing, Wei Zhe and Charmaine to follow suit. They didn't.

So we boarded the NEXT train to NOVENA, where they dropped off. For fun, we ran to the first cabin to confuse them. The sad reality was they got onto the train we GOT OFF. So once again, we were stranded. FINALLY at BRADDELL, we all stopped and met at the middle of the platform. Jesus! It took us three tries to finally get this right? SCREW YOU ALL!

Took the train home with them, before WEI ZHE made Sarah and I abandon Zhi Qing and Charmaine (YES ZHI QING, WHAT HE TOLD YOU ON THE BUS WAS A FRIGGING LIE ABOUT ME BEING TIRED!) and then took 812 home. ... We worked further on our Lord Of The Rings casting parody (we are the lords of the idiots now).

Reached home at 6:30... And I desperately wanted to be home at 5! Ugh.

But for now, rest and relaxation. And for tomorrow, goodbye reputation. AGAIN.

"Theres a stain on my hand, and it's red! Oh my god, am I losing it?! I can't help what I've done or I've said. It's the button I push, when it says: Hand of Blood! I don't wanna feel my heart is breaking. Hand Of Blood! I don't wana see my life is burning."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 6:44 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

Today is the 7th of July! And I checked back on my blog and realized it's one month and one day since the anniversary (6th June) of my blog!

=D

This is random. So I shall just share a history of how this blog came to be:

1. I was bored.
2. Everyone was blogging so I wanted one too.
3. When it came down to names, I had a hard time deciding.
4. ... Until I took this quiz.
5. The outcome name was just so perfect to me.
6. I'm surprised how no one actually used this name for blog URLs. EMO-ROCKER.
7. So yeah, the name just stuck. And even now, I still love it. And even now...

I'M STILL GETTING THE SAME RESULTS:

You Are an Emo Rocker!

Expressive and deep, lyrics are really your thing. That doesn't mean you don't rock out... You just rock out with meaning. For you, rock is more about connecting than grandstanding.

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 12:36 AM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

XD XD XD

Cutest, most disgusting and just plain wrong thing happened today at drama.

And it was all an innocent mistake.

Well, okay. There was a film director and his cameraman coming over to our school today to rehearse a few of us for a future film / show for mediacorp (because the drama club got gold for SYF and wow, privileges). It seemed fun, until we took a look at the script and it was rather lame... But it was fun to play it out.

The director was pretty young (mid-to-young twenties maybe?) and very, very well-tanned. Obviously he's been out in the open directing for a while. And his hair was GORGeous. Man, a guy has better hair than me... And it's longer and in better condition! WTH?! God, I feel so inferior now. The cameraman was quiet... And he was young too. ( The reason of this description? It comes in handy later ;D )

I pretended to be a macho guy with a fast-talking, deep voice who was partially enrolled in the army, thus the crazy "We-shall-start-from-this-point-*brutally points at paper*-HAAHHHH!-lolness".

During the girls' audition, we originally requested for the guys to read out the boys' lines, but the director decided to read out the guys' lines instead (I WISH HE HAD AND HADN'T xD)

But despite the long wait for my turn, I had fun acting. I flew in and out, laughed, cussed out loud and got an applause (for fun...) by the others. :D In the end, it was somewhat fun... Boring at first, but very, very, VERY fun towards the end, after my turn, it was HARKIRAN'S turn. XD

So the lines the girl character had to say was: "Hey, fancy bumping into you guys here."
To which, the male character (girl's brother) replies: "Go home now or I'll tell mum and dad!"

... Such innocent, normal, bickering from two siblings right? Well... While Harkiran was rehearsing, it got so damn, downright dirty and horny. XD

WHAT THE FUX HAPPENED?!

Well, okay, I have no idea HOW or WHY it became like that, but when Harkiran was saying those lines for the first time, she planted her hand on a chair and posed in a very scandalous-sexy manner and read out her character's lines ("Hey, fancy bumping into you guys here.") in a VERY VERY VERY sexy manner & voice.

We screamed at that and yelled out that she was flirting with the director (JOKING OF COURSE) and we were all:

"Holy shit, she's flirting!"
"Goddamn! Harkiran, stop flirting with the director!"
"He's too old for you, go for guys your age, man!"

And of course, for fun, the director (20yearsold+ I might remind) just chuckled and played along. In HIS most huskiest, horniest and most erotic, arousing voice, he said HIS lines: "Go home now or I'll tell MUM and DAD." [oooooh, how naughty]

That made us scream even more and literally roll around on the floor, laughing our asses off and screaming. But after that we got serious again... Before after the whole filming thing was over and we started teasing the director and Harkiran... Hah, she's got guts in flirting with OLDER MEN. (THIS IS ALL A FREAKING JOKE)

And now that cheer from Dramatically Sporty Camp:

Kiran, you sexy, you look like WOO!
Kiran, you pretty, you look like WOO!
Kiran, you qio bu, you look like WOO!
Uga-shaga, uga-shaga, Kiran, Kiran!
Uga-shaga,uga-shaga, Kiran, Kiran!
WOO!

Haha, we so wanted to stalk that director and prank call him to death. XD

Oh man... Who knew auditions could. Be. So. FUN? ;D



"I want to lock you up in my closet, when no one's around. I want to put your hand in my pocket, because you're allowed. I want to drive you into the corner, and kiss you without a sound. I want to stay this way forever, I'll say it loud. Now you're in and you can't get out."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 7:47 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

"Singing songs that make you slit your wrists,
It isn't that much fun..."

M N. 5th of the April. 17. Singapore. Female. Facebook. Tumblr.

Ex-Chongfu Primary. / Ex-CHAS.
Graduated Orchid Park Secondary:
Ex-Drama. Ex-Debater. Ex-Student Councillor. Ex-1A3-ian. Once-and-forever-2A3-ian. Ex-3A1-ian. Ex-PROUD-4A1-ian.

NGEE ANN FMS MCM [mass comm] T107/T102. RADIOHEATWAVE.COM Radio DJ. STAGE 52.

IN A RELATIONSHIP ♥

FYI, I quote a LOT of lyrics.

NOT emo, just tends to be more depressed than I'd like.
NOT a rocker, but loves to rock out.
NOT so sure i know who i am.
SUFFERS from Dermatillomania
a passionate LOVE for the colour RED
& PROUD TO BE A freak. Are you?

1. Love myself.
2. Self-Acceptance.
3. Eradicate insecurities.
4. Not to care.
5. Work hard in school.
6. Start over.
7. Take it slow.
8. Keep promises.
9. GPA >3.8 [yr 1.2,1.1,2.2,2.1,3.2]
10. To be MISERABLE and HAPPY.


"If it's not enough, try again. And again. Over and over again."

[[ WaNTS && WiSHES ]]

(1) Gorillaz - Plastic Beach
(2) 30STM - This Is War
(3) New Headphones
(4) Those new JEANS
(5) A Teenage Dream

Alex. :)♥ (my bumbling idiot)

HUTTSON My poopoo DOGGIE. ♥♥♥

BANDS :: MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE. Placebo. Marilyn Manson. 30 Seconds to Mars. Avenged Sevenfold. Linkin Park. Gorillaz. The Blackout. The Academy Is... Fall Out Boy. Bullet For My Valentine. Before Their Eyes. Lady Gaga. Just to name a VERY few...

HEROES :: GERARD WAY. TDK Joker. Jared Leto. Brian Molko. Draco Malfoy. 2D. Gerard Way. ♥ XD

Dilemmas.
The conflict.
Inner conflict.
Prejudiced people.
BUGS.

2A3-ians ♥ We Rock. Like Hell.
3/4A1-ians Over speed limit :D
Shoethrowers ♥ FAMILY
Apphia! :D :D :D Hee.
Azira A-zi-zi-ziraaaa! ♥ xD
Elizabeth ♥!
Elva VaVa :D
Farhan
Gavin
Isabelle
Jessica :D :D :D
Joanne ♥ XD
Joel is a legend!
Kenn Ninjaboy :D
Keng Ying CUZZIN! :D
Li Qing :DDD!
Matin! :D So cuute!
Nazry BiTCH!♥
Pearlyn So cute. :D
Rui Shuin Mah Couzin :D
Safwah rocks hardcore! :D ♥
Samuel ... Moo. :D ♥
Sarah BestFriend WALRUS ♥♥♥
Sheereen :DDD She cool yo!
Shi Wei :D:D:D So rad!
Si Ying, Tan rroooccckksss. :]
Si Ying, Yeh :D
Su Min She rocks!
Su Yuan :]

"Well you can hide a lot about yourself,
But honey, what're you gonna do?
And you can sleep in a coffin,
But the past ain't through with you."

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Layout: x
Image: Beyrout

I'm nothing but a beautiful disaster,
Crying tears of blood and joy
Into this black void.
Oblivion;
It's the place to be.
Ephemeral Romance.
Will you come with me?




i want to be

BEAUTIFUL

inside