Remedial today. Same drill. Wake up, moan, do stuff, get ready, go to school, and LEARN. ... Except this is the holidays, so I'm more slackish about it.

And I finally understand cumulative graphs... Haha. But the two of funniest and oddest things happened during Mr Goh's period.

THE HELL?! SCENARIO ONE:

Major Tan... (i would project vomit and blood out of the every orifice of my body now) came into the class halfway and he was speaking to us in that atrocious accent of his...

MT: Mister Goh Chin Sengggg...
3A1: *chuckling* HAahahaa!!
MT: Are you very noisy?
3A1: ...????!?!?!
MT: Is outside very noisy but in here very quiet? [by the way, people were cutting grass outside the classroom]
3A1: Yes!
MT: Okay, good. Carry on. *leaves*
3A1: ... *once MT outta sight* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! WTFTWTFWTF?!?!?!!!

Even Mr Goh cracked.

THE HELL!?!?!? SCENARIO TWO:

Y'know how everytime (during school terms and smesters) we get homework, we usually complain and try to negotiate the deadline right? Sometimes going as far as next Tuesday, next Friday... NEXT YEAR etc.

The funny thing was we were assigned homework today, and the fun part?

Mr Goh: Okay, this is homework VV. *holds up Vs with his two hands* _ _\/_ , _ _ \/_
Ming Yu: Why can't it be hw LL? _ _ I _ _ , _ _ I _ _ [middle fingers]
3A1: Hahaha!!
Mr Goh: Haha... No... Homework VV.
3A1: Due when?
Mr Goh: Next year.
3A1: O__O?!?!?!!!! !!! Whoa.

You should have heard him say it, it sounded so pleasant yet so awkward. O__o Haha... homework due next year... Even though it's coming to an end to this year, still.

But for now... SURVEY from Zhi Qing's blog! :D
__________________

1.The way to win your heart?
A personality of gold, if you're sweet, funny and right-out fun and a little twisted, that's all I need.

2.What did you do last night?
Pack my stuff for this morning's remedials.

3.Do you have the same name as one of your relatives?
Other than the last name, nope.

4.Are you looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend?
... Truthfully, yes. But I think I can live without. It's just nice to have someone you know?

5.One song that's meaningful to you?
Sleep - My Chemical Romance

6.Do you twirl or scoop your spaghetti?
I twirl them more.

7.Do you drink milk straight from the carton?
Hell yeah. I do that to juice too... And in public.

8.How long is your hair?
Pretty short, about touching the first collar length.

9.Do you like Batman?
Aw, he's awright. But I prefer his arch-nemesis... XD

10.Who was the last person who told you they loved you?
... Um... My mom... A very FREAKING long time ago.

11.Addicted to anything?
Oh none, just Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, TDK Joker, tying different shoelace styles on my Converse shoes and morbid, insane, offbeat stuff. Oh, and killing those who deserve punishment in the most grotesque and excruciatingly painful and slow, agonizing way. Nothing much.

12.Do you like anyone now?
I'm comtemplating. But, yes, kind of.

13.When was the last time you sang out loud?
I would estimate fifteen minutes ago.

14.What did you have for breakfast?
Water, air, a butter-and-sugar bun and a bite of Charlotte's cheese pancake.

15.Is your birthday on a holiday?
Nope. ... But this year, it fell on Speech Day. How ironic.

17.Did you have a nap today?
For 3 minutes, yes.

18.What was the reason you got in trouble last time?
I said something aloud I shouldn't.

19.What do you wear more, jeans or sweats?
Jeans.

20.When is your birthday?
5TH APRIL BITCHES! =D

21.Do you swear a lot?
... Lemme think. Fuck yeah.

22.Where did you get the shirt(s)you're wearing?
People, I'm wearing the sec 1 OPSS tee! ... Sigh, during the sec 1 camp in 2006.

23.Do you have any regrets?
Only three-quarters of my life.

24.What was your first alcoholic drink?
Sparkling juice.

25.What color are your favorite shoes?
Fire-engine red. I LOVE EM I SWEAR! :D

26.Who would you like to see right now?
Johnny, the homicidal maniac... And him.

27.Are you a social or antisocial person?
Depends. I vary, like the bipolar disorder, I can be extremely social and outgoing, and I can be outrageously antisocial and withdrawn.

28.Have the cops ever come by your house?
Yes. Details - classified.

30.Ever had braces?
Haha, no. But I could have.

31.Who was the first person to really break your heart?
... My one family member who I truly admired and respected. I HOPE YOU KNOW WHO YOU FUCKING ARE.

32.What do you wear to bed?
T-shirt, shorts. Long pants on certain occasions.

33.Who was your first best friend and are you still friends with them?
My very first, Agatha. But now... I don't think so any more.

34.Who was the last person to disappoint you?
... Me, myself and I.

35.Do you trust people?
It depends on the person. But yeah, I could if I truly knew them well... Or at least see how they react in less-than-organized situations to truly see their character.

36.Who was the first person you talked to today?
My mom...

37.Who was the first person to text you today?
Karnan.

38. What was the first thing you did this morning?
Awake to Helena - MCR... Other than that, wash up and bring the dog down.
_____________________

And moving on... to ASEAN. Ugh. But on the bright side, Literature remedial and council meeting tomorrow! :DDD

"The deception you show is your own parasite. Just a word of advice you can heed, if you like. And now I'm convinced on the inside that something's wrong with me. Convincd on the inside you're so much more than me, yeah. I'm beaten down."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 8:49 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

So I was invited to Mrs Rupesh's Deepavali celebration dinner. Along with the Excos and the 3A1 councillors. Yesterday night was the event, and it was pretty awesome! But first, my day...

Woke up in the morning. Nothing much happened

... Until Azira SMSed! She told me there was a film showcase going on at 2 to 5 and she asked the Shoethrowers if we could go, turns out I was the only one who could make it. Met Azira's mother, brother, sister and her at Dhoby Ghaut MRT at... 1:30++ pm. We journeyed down to a 'SAE institution', where Azira's mom and bro left to watch a movie, and Azira, me and her sister to go through the course.

There were 3 speakers. And truthfully, I found the whole thing rather interesting and inspiring. (I so wanna be in film now)

... Until the last speaker put the bor(e) in boring, we left during the break at 4. Meh.

Then we headed down to Plaza Sing and walked around, I left at 5 to head back to Yishun. Then I was killing time to meet up with Zhi Qing before we headed down to Mrs Rupesh's Grandma's place. So I bought root beer and started walking around the new Northpoint mall, was in pretty high spirits

... Until 3 Christians [NO OFFENCE HERE, REALLY] came up to me, and started talking to me about God and whatnot... WTFH!?! I seriously do not mean to offend or hurt anyone's feelings here, but they kept talking to me about God and everything related to it... (I'm not interested, I'm sorry, but I'm serious). But I shan't go on into hateful, ignorant, human-sinning-nature detail...

... Then I just left them, refusing to let them give me their contacts or their music CD...

That fucking pissed me off for the rest of the time

... Until I met up with Zhi Qing. I swear friends can seriously just lift the aggravated mood. Anyway, we took 856 to the bus stop in Mrs Rupesh's given directions. Traffic was murder, we were waiting to cross so many times but the cars kept coming, there was no end to it!

... Until we just followed the girl who ran across the road somewhere in front of us. We made it and began what Haziqah called the '7 minute walk' to Mrs Rupesh's Granny's house. ... It took us less than that actually. But the sky was darkening pretty fast.

We reached the place and met Samantha, Yee Suan, Haziqah and Qing Ning. Manik and Othman were there too. They hired a caterer and they served Roti Prata (what a variety! Banana, chocolate, cheese, onion etc.), 4 types of curry, custard and jelly as well. So we ate to our full and chatted with Mrs Rupesh, and learnt that we must never marry a man who loves soccer. (Good call)

Then the ex-Excos arrived, we greeted them and continued talking and slacking and stuff. We even tried joining the men in watching soccer... That failed. Then we wanted to try to change the channel during half-time... XD Hah.

We were bored

... Until the soccer game finished and Yee Suan, Qing Ning, Zhi Qing and I watched Princess Dairies on the Disney channel, haha, it was a nice experience.

... Until I was constantly terrorized by Zhi Qing... who hasn't watched the show in ages... >:/

But anyway, we just slacked around before we decided to go home. Said bye to the ex-ex-Excos, the ex-Excos and made the '7 minute walk' journey back to the bus stop. Waiting for a suitable bus back to the Yishun interchange was a murderous nightmare. But once we got there, I walked home.

Relaxed and was so happy about my day

... Until the throbbing headache started drumming in the back of my head. Took a panadol and slept.

What a bittersweet, awesome, stupid, boring, infuriating, jealous, hateful, thought-provoking and happy day.

And this results in over-exerting myself. How's that possible!??!

"You're worth losing my self esteem. Your clever words mean nothing more to me than a lot I've heard in a movie. You're worth losing my, losing my, losing my self esteem. You're not worth putting myself in these situations. Whoa oh! Whoa, whoa oh! Why do I put myself in these situations? Whoa oh! Whoa, whoa oh! I keep pushing myself even though I can't take it at all."



- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 10:58 AM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

Aww, the above is a sweet message on a letter I received from a Japanese penpal I recently now acquired, thanks to Ms Xu. Anyway, the letter I got was really pretty, filled me to the brim with happiness and excitement. I never knew the feeling of getting a reply / letter from someone you don't know (not a stalker or a hater) could be so... glam and fun-filled.

Thanks Ms Xu. : ]

Well, I got back from a tiresome day. Sec 3 Games Day (it sucked, but it was fun and it bonded 3A1 a bit more :D), a mock ASEAN discussion, drama (wasn't at all tiring), more mock ASEAN discussion and ushering for PTM (Sec 1 - 3)... whoa, I'm tired. Barely keeping my eyelids open from typing this.

But anyway, first, I got my report book back. :D Wheeee! (head explody!) I was pretty pleased with my results, really.

ENGLISH: B3
CHINESE: F9 [do you smell the sweet stench of FAILURE?! >:D]
A MATHS: A2 [Just 1 mark away from A1!]
E MATHS: A1
SCIENCE: A2 [beauty, eh?]
HUMANTITIES: B3
LITERATURE: B4 [damn...]

L1R4 Aggregate: 11
L1R5 Aggregate: 15

Class position: 5/41
Level position: 33/225

Promotion Status: PROMOTED TO S4 EXPRESS

But what Mrs Rupesh wrote for my remarks really made me ponder at first, then smile.

"However, I believe with some pushing and determination, Michelle is capable of acing her O'Level examinations next year."

I think I can. I think I really can. And I want to. =] I really want to.
_____________

Moving onto drama, I think I'm really excited for next year. SYF and (maybe) 10th year anniversary Speech Day, gonna be a grand, grand year...

But leaving the AVA room after that awesome and exciting discussion for next year, I suddenly felt depressed, remembering... stuff. And I wonder if I can still do all those things with constraints now.

Sigh, someone tell me a lie, like I'll be ok. I just need something to believe in right now.

And before I went off to change for ushering, I happened to see him (his O' Level exam for the day had just finished). And he waved at me. And he was smiling. And I think the feeling's still there for him, butttttt... it's mostly gone. I finally get it now: he's just a friendly, sweet guy.

That's all I need to say today's a very... unique day.

Oh, and sorry for the lateness, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SYUNNAZRY! Best friends forever, leaving or not leaving school. :D

"Dear Die-ary, there's nothing terribly wrong with feeling lost, so long as that feeling precedes some plan on your part to actually do something about it. Too often a person grows complacent with their disillusionment, perpetually wearing their 'discomfort' like a favorite shirt. I can't say I'm very pleased with where my life is just now... but I can't help but look forward to where it's going."
- Nny (a.k.a. Johnny C), Johnny the Homicidal Maniac

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 11:01 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

I somehow knew it would come down to this.

I guess I knew all along.

I feared it would happen. Really I did.

But I knew it would happen. And it did.

I really thought you would be able to aid us through the hardship and turmoil you caused, but I see now you can't.

Look at what you've done to yourself and us. Don't pretend you're fucking innocent and blame it on other causes. LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE FUCKING DONE.

Looks like we're all out of luck now.

I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY. You're not, I can tell, and inevitably, you caused us that too.

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 8:17 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

So it's tradition for the sec 3s to sit through the Sec 4 Graduation. And I forgot that even though they mentioned it like what, in sec 1?

Well, so basically today we sat through the Sec 4 graduation. We were to leave at supposedly 10.30 am because of JUDGEMENT DAY [promotion day] exercise for the teachers. There goes half the day. :D

So anyway, we sat through the sec 4's briefing for the O Levels' then they started the thing. Cheered with Charlotte, Zhi Qing and Nazry for all the prizes and achievements given out before the graduation tubes (dunno what you call em). Nazry kept singing "Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis... God that song brings back 'memories'. We mostly screamed at 4A1 because it was our next year class and I swear I want it to be the best. Haha, they even played our SCI song... :D Memories, I tell you. Memories.

We still got a chance to come together as one and rock out. Class might get smaller though. D:

But anyway, the fun part was that it was another tradition that the sec 1, 2 and 3s gather in an aisle manner as the sec 4s leave the hall, go down the spiral staircase, through the parade square and out into the foyer. So we sec 3s lined up along the "bridge", and the sec 1 and 2s burned in the sun at the parade square. YEAH, FEEL WHAT WE DID FOR TWO YEARS!

What the Shoethrowers, plus Nazry, did was that we would get on our knees and bow down towards the sec 4s who were coming out. Well, that was a real fun thing to do. The Principal, Vice-P., and Ms Soo all came out first, followed by 4S1 and 4S2 and so on. The second the Principal was near us, we all got down and our knees and bowed. Slave-"I'm-not-worthy"-style.

Well, Ms Soo was amused, she was all "WTFH?! XD", I caught Ronald's expression, he was "WTF" as well. Funny how we only bowed for the 4S1 people before we got bored and started waving to "our adoring public". Heck, once the sec 4s finished walking, Zhi Qing, Charlotte, Azira and me ran downstairs and started running down the aisle, like we were the graduating sec 4s. The Hell right...?

Well, we got a taste of what we're gonna go through next year.

Haha, you guys, we're gonna go through this next year... And it's gonna be so funny and fun and awesome... Yessirree, I'm already feeling like I'm gonna miss the school.

: ]

But now I'mma wanna do a survey.
_________________________________

Name 3 things in your bag?
Water bottle, pencil case, Dracula (book)

3 names you go by?
Mic, Miii-cheeeell, Neo

Where do you live?
Singapore. Yishun.

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
People, I'm wearing my school blouse... Sigh. Bookshop.

What was your last alcoholic drink?
... Sparkling Wine. Purple Grape.

What colour reminds you of your school?
The colour of orchids... O__o

Star wars or star treks?
How bout StarFucks? No? Then neither.

What should you be doing now?
I dunno... Exam's over.

How many months until your birthday?
Till next April? 6/7 months.

Where's you sister right now?
Somewhere out there. Plotting my demise. ... I don't even have a sister.

Last person you talked to on the phone?
Can't remember. Think it's Sarah or Zhi Qing.

What colour is your hair?
Black.

Last movie you saw at the movies?
Mamma Mia! ... Oh God...

What is bothering you?
I'mma not gonna say.

Who makes you happy?
The Shoethrowers, people I like...

When's the last time you talked to one of your siblings?
Last night.

Are you happy?
Currently, yes. Overall? Maybe not.

Miss anyone?
: ] ...Yeah.

How good is coca cola?
It's good. The feeling of citric acid burning your throat's wonderful.

Do you have a dry erase board in my room?
Yeap.

How was your day, what did you do?
Day was good. We, er, degraded ourselves to slaves. After that I, er... had courage. : ]

Taken anyone for granted?
Yes. And I regret that.

Where's your money?
... Somewhere. >__>

How did you wake up today?
Handphone alarm, Helena by MCR... And the sound of water running. (was Kelvin, turns out)

Which is more romantic - sunset or sunrise?
Sunset. Especially by a nearby airport.

How many letters are there in your last name?
N-E-O. Um... Fifteen. ... Goddamit, it's 3!

Last book read?
To Kill A Mokcingbird (finished it)... And the first page of Wuthering Heights.

What are you excited about?
... Something intangible and impossible. :o ... How bout nothing?

Does everyone deserve a second chance?
Second chance, yes. Third chance, maybe not.

Name something that made you upset today.
... A flustered, unthinking, unintentionally wrong reply.

What were you doing at 12 pm?
Hanging at Macs with ZQ, Azira, Anwuar, Sarah's P5 classmate and Sarah.

If you had to choose between a million bucks and to change a life?
A million bucks. FROM THERE I WOULD CHANGE LIVES MORE EFFICIENTLY.

What were you doing one hour ago?
Laughing with Sarah while playing Spore.

What was the last thing you said aloud?
"Huttson, come!" :D

What was the last thing that made you laugh really hard?
The Shoethrowers and Nazry bowing like slaves in the presence of the graduating sec 4s.

Are you ticklish?
Somewhat. Just don't poke me.

Are you a heavy sleeper?
Only when I'm bloody tired.

Was today a good day?
Hell yeah!

Where was the last place you went?
McDonalds,

Last person you had a deep and meaningful conversation with?
Zhi Qing... Unbelievably.

Your favourite movie?
THE DARK KNIGHT! :D Has my husband.

Have you ever played naked twister?
O__o ... Nuu.

What is something you will never forget?
My name... XD Well, I'm not so sure. Loads of memories that I loved I guess.

How do you feel about valentines day?
It's a nice day for friends... and an even better day for couples. And a heartbreaking day for those with unrequited love. But hey, I think it's okay. :D

How is your hair?
It's sexy. XD

Who was the last person you took a picture with?
Azira and Zhi Qing.

Are you typically a very jealous person?
As Nazry had conviently stated today, "All girls are jealous". So yes, I am. I know I am.

Do you chew on straws?
No, I sorta bend them more.

Do you wish on 11.11PM?
No, I wish when I see stars.

Do you have trust issues?
It's hard, but now I realized I always had all along.

Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with him?
Yeah. "He" didn't turn out as bad as I thought "He" was... And besides, I never really hated "Him", just disliked.

Have you ever hurt someone when you were mad?
Verbally, yeah. Physically, only very very veryyyyy occasionally.

Is it easier to forgive or to forget?
Forget. I don't forgive easily.

How do you know the second person from the top friends list?
Through school. You meet very awesome people there.
___________________________

... Now what?

"I tried to read between the lines. I tried to look in your eyes. I want a simple explanation for what I'm feeling inside. I gotta find a way out. Maybe there's a way out."


- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 1:16 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

SO. I got back most of my papers.

And I must say I'm pretty delighted by the results. Well, most of them.

I got back my English, but I can't total up the marks yet... Cause, well, I have no question paper and I don't know what my section As & Bs are upon... Bah. We'll leave that out.

Chinese. Total failure. Apparently I didn't think it went well at all. What a piece of unsurprising, disappointing news. Again. 39.3/100 - 39.3% FUCKING F9

Then came SS. I have got a reason to scream and cheer. A whopping 39/50. That's 78%... That's a frigging A1. And the best part? I never ever expected this to happen. The best part, I know my efforts from worrying and crying and moaning constantly over this subject paid off. Studying too.

It was then a little segemnt of History. I nearly fainted and screamed from my mark. 31/50. That's 62%, B4... and that's brilliant to me considering I didn't study at all... AT ALL. But I did understand the whole thing. Wow... God DAMN I am frigging lucky.

Then the funny thing was, Mr Nair was talking to us about the results, when Mr Goh was seen walking outside of class. Mr Nair suddenly grew so impatient and almost yelled at Mr Goh:
"Mr Goh, will you please check your schedule? It's not your period now" when God and us know very well it was.

Then Mr Goh checked his scedule and held it out to Mr Nair to see. And they went head-to-head and started whispering to each other, the rest of us laughing while it was happening. It was like a face-off between Germany and Japan (according to Nazry), but then again, for WWII, Germany & Japan teamed up... (according to me XD)... In the end, the battle was lost and Mr Goh went out of class to let Mr Nair address us finish before he came in. And then it was hell...

Well, hell in A Maths form. 6 in 41 passed. So Mr Goh couldn't allow that. There was an 8-mark moderation. And lucky me, before and after the moderation, I still passed. Before mark - 59.5/100, C5. After mark - 67.5/100. B3. Damn, so close yet so far from a distinction. But then again, lucky me to be able to pass that 'well'. Still my tutor ain't gonna be happy to hear that.

Mr Lim came in halfway to pass our exam papers to Clarence, when I got all my marks, I nearly fainted again. I totaled it all up and I got 56/85. 68.3%... B3!!! PEOPLE LIKE ME GET B3 FOR PHYSICS! AND THAT'S ONE OF THE WORST SUBJECTS I'M DOING IN (according to me) AND YET I GOT A B3 WHEN I DIDN'T EVEN GODDAMN STUDY THAT HARD!

Something's wrong. Or this means that I am just pure lucky. Let's go with ther former.

Finally, CHEMISTRY!!!! :D :D :D The funny part was that when I received my answer booklet, I fell into a panicked frenzy because I had a 40.5 written on the cover page, turns out that mark was just SECTION B and NOT the whole paper. Wha seh. Give us heart attack siol. But anyway, once I got back all my sections, I have a total 70/85. 82.4% and that's a very gorgeous A1.

Holy shit, I've got to go give my thanks to my tutors. Get on my knees and start praying to them like Gods because they helped me get these awesome grades.

THANK YOU ANDY! THANK YOU LOUIS! THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME!

Now to go cry because when the report books come out and the total is calculated, these marks and grades might not be there anymore. D:

And besides, if I pass English, I'm a sure-in promoted. If I don't pass English, then I may just scrap through enough to be advanced.
My back aches.

"Sometimes it's though it's easier to fall. Would you catch this and then pick this off the floor, and in a moment, if you're walking out the door I'd stop you. And i'll let you burn, and if you'd turn to me I'd say this, 'would you stay right here?' When I tell you, that someone out there loves you. If you stay right here, keep attacking you, that someone out there loves you."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 3:09 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

So we got back two results today.

E Maths. Literature.

For E Maths, well, paper 1 had a calculation error, so my FINAL mark is: 65.5/80. That's 81.8%. Not too bad.

My paper 2 was just painful to look at. Thousands of careless and unrequired mistakes caused my weak performance, but still managed to get by. So the end: 68.5/100. That's... well, DUH, 68.5%.

Total: it's 75.1%. I calculated the math. But this is just for my EOYs, my other percentages from CA1, SA1 and CA2 count as well. I may still be able to hit that distinction, but still I don't feel like I've improved or done my real best.

But on the funnier side, I was checking through paper 2 and one of my answers was not simplified, beside it, a very angry red note was scribbled: 3 s.f.! [or significant figure], by right I should have minused marks, but below that one answer, I wrote out a statement and simplified my answer there.

Like so:

Depression angle = 4.1754975774
= 4.2 (degrees)

And there was a red note saying: OK next to my final answer. Like seriously, an OK. The marker must've put it there: OK. O__o

Literature. Was. Crap. I didn't do as well as I wanted to... I received a B4 [47/75 - 62.7%], but I must admit, it wasn't very well done as I wanted it to be... Yes, why didn't I put in more effort for this? But Mrs Rupesh did say she liked marking my answers, despite the oh-so-FUCK-ugly handwriting shit I gave her.

That's like hell. Pure hell.

Sigh... I really need to improve. But for now... Relax and unwind. Before tomorrow, when possibly ALL the paper results come in.

"It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable to watch the system crumble. This political shakedown, coming correct from the underground. This political shakedown, coming correct from the underground. We've been cut up. We've been shut up. For far too long, yeah! Pull the feeding tube out of the mouth of democracy. Televise it starving to death. Once buried in the ground, we can all breathe free."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 2:02 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

It's joyful, worrying and to top it all off, sickening.

I have never in my life been so worried about my exam grades... And this is bad because I know that for my EOYs, I didn't do as well as I wanted, I wasn't as serious as I was during MYEs... It's like I take this whole exam thing to be a joke...

And I swear I don't know what to do for O Levels'. And that's not the only thing I'm shit worried about. Food crisis, money crisis and global warming... It's stupid for a pathetic teenager like me to even care about these things, but these are happening and they are real. How long more do I have until everything comes crashing down?

After all, who cares about me? I'm not even making a difference in my own life. Heck, I'm not sure whether I even am alive or whether I'm a dead zombie, living my life and walking through a routine journey.

But mostly I'm seriously shit scared for my studies and my money. I'm running low and out on BOTH.

Well, tomorrow's the return to school, and probably our results will be returned. The very thought induces vomit within me. Ugh.

But on the slightly bright side, the movie marathon on Friday was awesome, the LOTR movie marathon on Saturday was amazing and today I got my real hoodie [black WITH pockets].

But right now, I feel like dying. In Literature, this sensation either means something bad is forlorning... or the main character (i.e. me) is going psychotic.

I'd go with the former and the latter.

"A wraith with an angel’s body. A demon with a smile of gold. You soul-sucker. I won’t become like you. A killer with the perfect weapons, crystal eyes and a heart of coal. You soul-sucker. I won’t lose myself in you."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 6:00 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

So after my last paper, went to watch Mamma Mia! with the shoethrowers gang [OUR FIRST REAL OUTING TOGETHER AS A WHOLE FAMILY GROUP]

And I must admit, show wasn't too bad. But Pierce Brosnan, please never open your mouth ever again if you intend to sing because in turn, you'll make our ears bleed.

... Well, our ears bled anyway.

Our cinema was frigging empty, except for two other women who we irritated the stuffing out of. How sad... To share a cinema with six crazy girls. XD

But anyway, as I promised, I'll put up pics of my new hair: Fringe Reborned.

It's awesome, ain't it!? What I tell ya?

It's a real nice new change compared to my ridiculous, fugly, rough and puffy piece-of-shit-I-call-my-hair old hairstyle. :D So all I gotta do now is grow my fringe and I shall achieve my emo hair dream.

But for now, party, rest and relax.

Because tomorrow: MOVIE MARATHON AT ZQ'S PLACE!

"Mamma mia, here I go again. My my, how can I resist you? Mamma mia, does it show again? My my, just how much I've missed you. Yes, I've been broken-hearted, blue since the day we parted. Why, why did I ever let you go? Mamma mia, now I really know. My my, I could never let you go."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 10:18 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

Well, the weekend passed.

And sure enough, it didn't go so well. Didn't study much as I wanted to. Looks like I have to cram. Sigh~ Isn't everybody? ... *crickets* Okay, it's just me then.

Well, on SUNDAY I went to go get my hair cut. And in the end, I didn't have enough long hair to achieve the emo fringe I wanted, but still, the hairdresser helped me get my hair reborned, and now there's an obvious emo fringe, but it's not long though. And it's no longer frizzy and crazy like it used to be! I must admit, I really do like it. :D And other people said it looked good as well.

Well, it's a nice change to see fugly, retarded hair become smooth, soft hair. :D

Haha. Maybe it'll give me new confidence. Like today's crazy convo I had with Charlotte.

Me: "Aw, he's cute."
Charz: "Do you want me to get his number for you?"
Me: "No, it's okay, I can do it myself. I have the hair now." *emo hair flip* XD

XD It's all in the hair.

Will post pics after exams.

_________________

But for now... Monday, today we had CHEMISTRY and A MATHS. Generally, I could say it was alright.

CHEMISTRY. Was alright. Had some elements I was very unsure of, but still, managable. I think I did pretty well for it, and my chem tutor was pleased when I told him. ... Maybe the reason I felt pretty apprehensive was because the invigilators started the paper HALFWAY WHEN 3A1 WAS STILL RUNNING INTO THE HALL. It was SO NOT our fault we were moved up to the hall so late.

A MATHS. *Cue horror music and childrens' shrill screams and moans*

Front part. Easy. Perfect. The questions AFTER question 7 (for me), everything started spiralling downwards. UGH IT WAS TERRIBLE! Even the 3 smartest classmates in my class said the paper was hard. WHERE'S THAT LEAVE THE REST OF US?!

I counted. 14 marks gone from inability to do the question... And I don't even dare to count my mistakes at all.

Though I remain hopeful, there goes my chances at A1 for A Maths. Hopefully I can still get a B4... or B3, if I'm hell lucky.

Sigh~ For now, history. It's gonna be hard to memorize so I'm gonna try to understand. Because History this year is hard, and I barely know what's going on. I SWEAR I MUST AT LEAST PASS MY SBQ TO GET SALVATION. Or everyone can fail and we can get a moderation. o^__^o

No. Better get understanding/studying.

_____________

HISTORY. [text here after paper] E D i T 7/10/08 - 12:15 pm

Surprisingly, it wasn't as hard and crazy as I thought it would be. In fact, It'd almost be safe to say I could pass, barely scrape through the passing mark, but still. Pass. :D

Then again, another good feeling. Might and might not happen, I may get my hopes shot down later, but for now, I'll just enjoy the moment of feeling I actually can pass.

Just had Maths tuition and I must say, I'm rather confident about tomorrow's paper. HE TOLD ME TO BE CONFIDENT AND CONFIDENT THY SHALT BE!

And Gonna study lit with the gang later: Nana, Vava, Chacha and ZhiQi. Though I have a bad feeling we're not actually gonna get around to studying. Even after Mrs Rupesh made it CLEAR for all of us to do so. AND WE SHALL! =D Hopefully.

________________

E MATHS P2. [text here to complain/cheer about paper] E D i T 8/10/08 - 4:32 pm

It went pretty well. Could be safe to say was rather easy. Only had one question that I didn't know how to do. 4 marks wasted.

But still. :D

LITERATURE. [lots and lots and loads of text here]

Thou, thou, Lysander...

SHITCRAP! Didn't go too well. Section A, essay and text-based was more or less okay. Section B, unseen. What a real nightmare! There were two parts of the second question, and I didn't finish the second part. GAHHHHHH!!!

Sigh... Definitely can't get that distinction.

DEFINITELY.

On the lighter side: ONE. MORE. PAPER.
_______________

PHYSICS. [probably moan/cheer/neutral feelings here] E D i T 9/10/08 - 10:16 pm

I had a pretty bad feeling about this paper... Heck, I felt like I AM gonna fail this paper.

So, God, please, I'm begging, pleading, crying and pining... 42.5/85 and above for a pssing mark, PLEASE.

On the bigger picture: IT IS OVER.


- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 7:49 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

So we finished our SS and E Maths Paper 1 exams...

And I must say: "Shit".

SS. Well, that was suicide in paper format. I blanked out for SEQ, but luckily managed to get my points down. I even tried for weighing... That's two-times the suicide in BLACK INK. Even better...

But I can still say overall I think I did pretty okay. Not exactly 100% confident(e) I can score, but I think I'll scrap through the passing mark, barely. Or maybe fall short of the passing mark. ... Y'know whenever I get these "good" feelings, it in turn means I'm not gonna get very nice marks. Sigghhh~

E Maths. Paper 1. Whoa! Even better! I FOUND IT PRETTY EASY... And I'm not being sarcastic here. I really did find it pretty easy and doable, but still, some parts were rather hard... But I felt I could do very well for this paper.

Another one of the "good" feelings. Yup, I'm not gonna get that A1 I so desperately wanted. SIGHHH~~~!!!! .___.

What makes me feel so insecure is that a lot of people found the paper hard. That's worrying. When you feel like you know everything when people are not sure whether they know anything... That's very, very worrying.

Sigh... Don't think I'm doing so well here now.

But on the bright side, once exams are over, The Shoethrowers got everything planned out for the Marking-Day-Free-of-EOY-Exam-Weekend. It's gonna be a fun day! :D

But for now:
study, study, study, study, STUDY!

But meh, waiting to study with Nazry.

Gonna be a fun, fun, fun study day...

"The remedy is the experience. This is a dangerous liaison. I say the comedy is that it's serious. This is a strange enough new play on words. I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on. So shine the light on all of your friends, when it all amounts to nothing in the end. I won't worry my life away. I won't worry my life away."



- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 1:23 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

Library computer.

So I did a few practice papers of E and A Maths Mr Goh Chin Seng gave us...

And I must say... I don't think I can get that A1 I so badly and desperately wanted for both maths. I can still pass though... But still, might not get the grades I want... Maths Tutor won't like that. Not. One. Bit. So, I'm gonna have to study and practice maths really really hard.

... Yeah. SO TOMORROW'S SS AND E MATHS PAPER ONEE!! OMG NO WAIII!!! =D

Hope you guys studied, cause I sorta did. Chapter 3, memorized. Chapter 6, somewhat there, still have about 3 pages to commit to memory. Then gotta practice for E Maths.

All the best, sec 3s peoplez.WE WANNA BE PROMOTED, REMEMBER?!

"Welcome to the jungle. We got fun 'n' games. We got everything you want, Honey, we know the names. We are the people that can find whatever you may need. If you got the money honey, we got your disease."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 3:03 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

"Singing songs that make you slit your wrists,
It isn't that much fun..."

M N. 5th of the April. 17. Singapore. Female. Facebook. Tumblr.

Ex-Chongfu Primary. / Ex-CHAS.
Graduated Orchid Park Secondary:
Ex-Drama. Ex-Debater. Ex-Student Councillor. Ex-1A3-ian. Once-and-forever-2A3-ian. Ex-3A1-ian. Ex-PROUD-4A1-ian.

NGEE ANN FMS MCM [mass comm] T107/T102. RADIOHEATWAVE.COM Radio DJ. STAGE 52.

IN A RELATIONSHIP ♥

FYI, I quote a LOT of lyrics.

NOT emo, just tends to be more depressed than I'd like.
NOT a rocker, but loves to rock out.
NOT so sure i know who i am.
SUFFERS from Dermatillomania
a passionate LOVE for the colour RED
& PROUD TO BE A freak. Are you?

1. Love myself.
2. Self-Acceptance.
3. Eradicate insecurities.
4. Not to care.
5. Work hard in school.
6. Start over.
7. Take it slow.
8. Keep promises.
9. GPA >3.8 [yr 1.2,1.1,2.2,2.1,3.2]
10. To be MISERABLE and HAPPY.


"If it's not enough, try again. And again. Over and over again."

[[ WaNTS && WiSHES ]]

(1) Gorillaz - Plastic Beach
(2) 30STM - This Is War
(3) New Headphones
(4) Those new JEANS
(5) A Teenage Dream

Alex. :)♥ (my bumbling idiot)

HUTTSON My poopoo DOGGIE. ♥♥♥

BANDS :: MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE. Placebo. Marilyn Manson. 30 Seconds to Mars. Avenged Sevenfold. Linkin Park. Gorillaz. The Blackout. The Academy Is... Fall Out Boy. Bullet For My Valentine. Before Their Eyes. Lady Gaga. Just to name a VERY few...

HEROES :: GERARD WAY. TDK Joker. Jared Leto. Brian Molko. Draco Malfoy. 2D. Gerard Way. ♥ XD

Dilemmas.
The conflict.
Inner conflict.
Prejudiced people.
BUGS.

2A3-ians ♥ We Rock. Like Hell.
3/4A1-ians Over speed limit :D
Shoethrowers ♥ FAMILY
Apphia! :D :D :D Hee.
Azira A-zi-zi-ziraaaa! ♥ xD
Elizabeth ♥!
Elva VaVa :D
Farhan
Gavin
Isabelle
Jessica :D :D :D
Joanne ♥ XD
Joel is a legend!
Kenn Ninjaboy :D
Keng Ying CUZZIN! :D
Li Qing :DDD!
Matin! :D So cuute!
Nazry BiTCH!♥
Pearlyn So cute. :D
Rui Shuin Mah Couzin :D
Safwah rocks hardcore! :D ♥
Samuel ... Moo. :D ♥
Sarah BestFriend WALRUS ♥♥♥
Sheereen :DDD She cool yo!
Shi Wei :D:D:D So rad!
Si Ying, Tan rroooccckksss. :]
Si Ying, Yeh :D
Su Min She rocks!
Su Yuan :]

"Well you can hide a lot about yourself,
But honey, what're you gonna do?
And you can sleep in a coffin,
But the past ain't through with you."

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I'm nothing but a beautiful disaster,
Crying tears of blood and joy
Into this black void.
Oblivion;
It's the place to be.
Ephemeral Romance.
Will you come with me?




i want to be

BEAUTIFUL

inside