I know I said I wouldn't come on and I'm on internet hiatus and everything...

But slightly before that I wanted to play BOTH my sims for the last time before going studying... I never imagined anything to go wrong...

And now BOTH my Sims 2 and Sims 3 are not starting up. They crash before even starting with that heartwrenching and despicable error tone coming up every time. I don't know what happened.

It sounds stupid, but I am very, very agonized and distraught over this. I have played, nutured and loved each and every individual sim I have created in both games in my brother's computer. I took care of them, I pampered them, I downloaded gorgeous stuff so they wouldn't have to wear fucking ugly Maxis clothes (except in sims 3 where I can customize patterns and such)...

I used them in stories. I used them like they were my actors and I was their director, I took their pictures like how real directors filmed movies, both telling a story with an idea in our minds... I truly loved playing the sims I created in both games... I grew a bond with each individual simulated and artificial chracter I personally created. Yes, each of the sims I created contained a little piece of me in them, and I loved and cherished them.

Now I can't even play either game. My brother uninstalled sims 3... it's my duty to reinstall it after the O's. I've gotten very depressed and upset over losing my two beloved families that I wholeheartedly played (and stressed over).

But the sims 2... I've played it far many more times than I played The Sims 3. It's been my friend for years, something I can unleash all my creative thoughts into, something I can take out my anger on. Years of downloading and playing and developing each sims 2 character... A long time ago, after installing Sims 2 Unleashed (pets), it crashed soon after and I was in full anguish. It's foolish, but I was so upset enough to commit suicide.

Now I have to uninstall it. Because it won't start up. The only remedy is to uninstall and reinstall it. There's no other way to run around it.

But all my sims... all my wonderful, stupid, darling, retarded, beautiful, fucking teenage sims... They're gone.

... I could cry now... I really could.

Emotional attachment to an artificial simulation is absurd, I know. But when you play it and loved it as much as I did... It's like losing a beloved. I resent the times I thought I was bored with the Sims. I resent each and every time I had that despicable and poisonous thought. I know I can very well reconstruct them again when I reinstall the game... But it's not going to be the same... The faces will be all wrong. I treated them like they were all alive... I talked to them in my mind and they would talk back. They kept me company when I was alone in the house...

... I miss them. I'm going to miss each and everyone of them.

I feel too rotten to even fucking cry.


RIP

Rulelezz's Sims 2 and Sims 3 sims.
She loved, cherished and celebrated each and everyone in you.
She holds each and everyone close to her heart.
Don't forget.

Countdown to 26/10: 7.5 days
"You're automatic, and your heart's like an engine. I die with every beat. You're automatic, and your voice is electric. Why do I still believe? It's automatic, everywhere in your letter. A lie that makes me bleed. It's automatic, when you say things get better. But they never... There's no real love in you. There's no real love in you. There's no real love in you. Why do I keep loving you?"

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 7:20 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

"Singing songs that make you slit your wrists,
It isn't that much fun..."

M N. 5th of the April. 17. Singapore. Female. Facebook. Tumblr.

Ex-Chongfu Primary. / Ex-CHAS.
Graduated Orchid Park Secondary:
Ex-Drama. Ex-Debater. Ex-Student Councillor. Ex-1A3-ian. Once-and-forever-2A3-ian. Ex-3A1-ian. Ex-PROUD-4A1-ian.

NGEE ANN FMS MCM [mass comm] T107/T102. RADIOHEATWAVE.COM Radio DJ. STAGE 52.

IN A RELATIONSHIP ♥

FYI, I quote a LOT of lyrics.

NOT emo, just tends to be more depressed than I'd like.
NOT a rocker, but loves to rock out.
NOT so sure i know who i am.
SUFFERS from Dermatillomania
a passionate LOVE for the colour RED
& PROUD TO BE A freak. Are you?

1. Love myself.
2. Self-Acceptance.
3. Eradicate insecurities.
4. Not to care.
5. Work hard in school.
6. Start over.
7. Take it slow.
8. Keep promises.
9. GPA >3.8 [yr 1.2,1.1,2.2,2.1,3.2]
10. To be MISERABLE and HAPPY.


"If it's not enough, try again. And again. Over and over again."

[[ WaNTS && WiSHES ]]

(1) Gorillaz - Plastic Beach
(2) 30STM - This Is War
(3) New Headphones
(4) Those new JEANS
(5) A Teenage Dream

Alex. :)♥ (my bumbling idiot)

HUTTSON My poopoo DOGGIE. ♥♥♥

BANDS :: MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE. Placebo. Marilyn Manson. 30 Seconds to Mars. Avenged Sevenfold. Linkin Park. Gorillaz. The Blackout. The Academy Is... Fall Out Boy. Bullet For My Valentine. Before Their Eyes. Lady Gaga. Just to name a VERY few...

HEROES :: GERARD WAY. TDK Joker. Jared Leto. Brian Molko. Draco Malfoy. 2D. Gerard Way. ♥ XD

Dilemmas.
The conflict.
Inner conflict.
Prejudiced people.
BUGS.

2A3-ians ♥ We Rock. Like Hell.
3/4A1-ians Over speed limit :D
Shoethrowers ♥ FAMILY
Apphia! :D :D :D Hee.
Azira A-zi-zi-ziraaaa! ♥ xD
Elizabeth ♥!
Elva VaVa :D
Farhan
Gavin
Isabelle
Jessica :D :D :D
Joanne ♥ XD
Joel is a legend!
Kenn Ninjaboy :D
Keng Ying CUZZIN! :D
Li Qing :DDD!
Matin! :D So cuute!
Nazry BiTCH!♥
Pearlyn So cute. :D
Rui Shuin Mah Couzin :D
Safwah rocks hardcore! :D ♥
Samuel ... Moo. :D ♥
Sarah BestFriend WALRUS ♥♥♥
Sheereen :DDD She cool yo!
Shi Wei :D:D:D So rad!
Si Ying, Tan rroooccckksss. :]
Si Ying, Yeh :D
Su Min She rocks!
Su Yuan :]

"Well you can hide a lot about yourself,
But honey, what're you gonna do?
And you can sleep in a coffin,
But the past ain't through with you."

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I'm nothing but a beautiful disaster,
Crying tears of blood and joy
Into this black void.
Oblivion;
It's the place to be.
Ephemeral Romance.
Will you come with me?




i want to be

BEAUTIFUL

inside