People wanted an update, they say my blog is dead and yeah, pretty much I can see that.

I don't really feel like going in depth in my own life right now, maybe because I'm feeling unnecessarily bitter and melancholic (fine, fine emo whatever)? I can't tell anymore. Somehow I feel I'm becoming worse as this year progresses, not like the better person I wanted to become.

I need to just stop thinking. JUST STOP. Well, my mind's a bit disorganized right now, so I might as well just list them down point-form. It's not my style, but I've no other way to phrase them as of now. Besides, better for easy reading, eh?
_____

#1. Michael Jackson has passed away. And though I hardly consider myself a fan of his, his music is brilliant, no denying that. I can only pray he's in a better place now, a place where he, King of Pop, will reign supreme. I didn't exactly care about him... but his death upset me somehow.

#2. My homework is uncompleted and tomorrow's the last day of the June hols. I'm sure many people are in the some predicament as me, really. But I've got so much to do and I'm not focusing... I'm not determined, I'm not working hard. Once again, I've deteriorated. We don't have much time left before the O's... What the fuck am I still doing?

#3. My emotions have severly gone out of hand. My suicidal thoughts are starting to recur again. (I thought I squelched them) I feel like going back to self-injury but I feel just too rotten to. I feel inferior to everything, I'm trying to be something I'm not. I don't know who I am, I don't know if this is really me. I hate myself. I just fucking hate the person -whoever the fuck- I am... I wonder if I'll ever love or accept myself... For now, it just seems like some twisted and ruined dream. No, never.

#4. I'm stressed. Really, really stressed. For the 2nd/3rd/4th time this year, stressed till I can fall into a nervous breakdown and cry. For someone who is rather "laid-back" in life, this is not good for me. I've never been that stressed when it came to studies... But now, I am.

#5. I don't need this right now. It's eating me up on the inside, it's killing me. I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!

#6. Happier note: Gerard Way and Lyn-Z are parents now! Congrats to them and their new baby girl, Bandit Lee Way. She'll grow up one lucky kid. Funny how this news is old... She was given birth on May 27th if I'm not wrong. Well, that's old.

#7. I wonder how insane it'll get on Monday (when school starts).

#8. MT O Level Chinese next Friday. I'm not ready. I never will be.

"If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with."
"I'm happy to be alive, I'm happy to be who I am."
"And I remember going to the record studio and there was a park across the street and I'd see all the children playing and I would cry because it would make me sad that I would have to work instead."
"Let us dream of tomorrow where we can truly love from the soul, and know love as the ultimate truth at the heart of all creation."


- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 11:23 AM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

"Singing songs that make you slit your wrists,
It isn't that much fun..."

M N. 5th of the April. 17. Singapore. Female. Facebook. Tumblr.

Ex-Chongfu Primary. / Ex-CHAS.
Graduated Orchid Park Secondary:
Ex-Drama. Ex-Debater. Ex-Student Councillor. Ex-1A3-ian. Once-and-forever-2A3-ian. Ex-3A1-ian. Ex-PROUD-4A1-ian.

NGEE ANN FMS MCM [mass comm] T107/T102. RADIOHEATWAVE.COM Radio DJ. STAGE 52.

IN A RELATIONSHIP ♥

FYI, I quote a LOT of lyrics.

NOT emo, just tends to be more depressed than I'd like.
NOT a rocker, but loves to rock out.
NOT so sure i know who i am.
SUFFERS from Dermatillomania
a passionate LOVE for the colour RED
& PROUD TO BE A freak. Are you?

1. Love myself.
2. Self-Acceptance.
3. Eradicate insecurities.
4. Not to care.
5. Work hard in school.
6. Start over.
7. Take it slow.
8. Keep promises.
9. GPA >3.8 [yr 1.2,1.1,2.2,2.1,3.2]
10. To be MISERABLE and HAPPY.


"If it's not enough, try again. And again. Over and over again."

[[ WaNTS && WiSHES ]]

(1) Gorillaz - Plastic Beach
(2) 30STM - This Is War
(3) New Headphones
(4) Those new JEANS
(5) A Teenage Dream

Alex. :)♥ (my bumbling idiot)

HUTTSON My poopoo DOGGIE. ♥♥♥

BANDS :: MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE. Placebo. Marilyn Manson. 30 Seconds to Mars. Avenged Sevenfold. Linkin Park. Gorillaz. The Blackout. The Academy Is... Fall Out Boy. Bullet For My Valentine. Before Their Eyes. Lady Gaga. Just to name a VERY few...

HEROES :: GERARD WAY. TDK Joker. Jared Leto. Brian Molko. Draco Malfoy. 2D. Gerard Way. ♥ XD

Dilemmas.
The conflict.
Inner conflict.
Prejudiced people.
BUGS.

2A3-ians ♥ We Rock. Like Hell.
3/4A1-ians Over speed limit :D
Shoethrowers ♥ FAMILY
Apphia! :D :D :D Hee.
Azira A-zi-zi-ziraaaa! ♥ xD
Elizabeth ♥!
Elva VaVa :D
Farhan
Gavin
Isabelle
Jessica :D :D :D
Joanne ♥ XD
Joel is a legend!
Kenn Ninjaboy :D
Keng Ying CUZZIN! :D
Li Qing :DDD!
Matin! :D So cuute!
Nazry BiTCH!♥
Pearlyn So cute. :D
Rui Shuin Mah Couzin :D
Safwah rocks hardcore! :D ♥
Samuel ... Moo. :D ♥
Sarah BestFriend WALRUS ♥♥♥
Sheereen :DDD She cool yo!
Shi Wei :D:D:D So rad!
Si Ying, Tan rroooccckksss. :]
Si Ying, Yeh :D
Su Min She rocks!
Su Yuan :]

"Well you can hide a lot about yourself,
But honey, what're you gonna do?
And you can sleep in a coffin,
But the past ain't through with you."

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Image: Beyrout

I'm nothing but a beautiful disaster,
Crying tears of blood and joy
Into this black void.
Oblivion;
It's the place to be.
Ephemeral Romance.
Will you come with me?




i want to be

BEAUTIFUL

inside