Today was a pretty bad day.

Mom and brother quarreled a lot.

Heck, I even told my dog: "Huttson, this is a perfect example of a dysfunctional family. You're in it."

I just don't care anymore.

I used to care a lot. Now I'm casting aside my exams...

I used to care. I wonder what happened.

And just so you know, I gave up caring about/for you. I liked you as my friend, I really did. I harbour no secret feelings of detest or loathing for you. I NEVER DID. I actually enjoyed having you as my friend for the years. But congradulations, you seem pretty happier without any of us. And truth be told, I think we're happier without you.

At least, I am. Maybe I will be.

I cared about the situation. I wanted the both of you to make up. But now, that seems impossible isn't it? To think, 2 years of friendship and strong bonds could be broken off just like THAT. Maybe I'm being unreasonable, maybe I'm just being too proud and seeing things my way that, maybe I should just step off, back down and pretend I never part of all this.

Maybe I should stop caring.

Because you stopped.

Because she stopped.

Because I used to think I was lucky to be your friend. I ENVIED YOU. I ENVIED HER. I ENVIED THE BOTH OF YOU. Why? Because I saw you as great people I guess.

But now, I give up. I'm following advice to try to talk to you... But now there's a barrier set. So I'm officially not your friend anymore huh? That's okay, I guess. I never thought myself to be your friend really. And I got two people to testify you said that.

I cared.

Now, I still do actually.

But just not now. Maybe I'll worry for you if anything happens to you [NOT CURSING YOU HERE], maybe I'll wonder what you're thinking or how you feel... But I don't think I can care.

Why?

Because after all that happened, I FUCKING GIVE UP CARING ABOUT AND FOR YOU. You're confident and strong enough to fend for yourself, unlike me. So enjoy your life without us, you might find it better for yourself. We already are.

But don't bother swearing and cursing me behind my back, talking bad about me to other people, sneering at me, don't bother, because frankly I don't care, in fact, I see it as a source of amusement, hearing what pathetic things you say about me just humours me.

Thanks a lot. You make me smile.

Fie, fie you conterfeit you.

Whether we ever do make up and become friends again, that remains to be seen. But just stop crying out loud and complaining in pain and agony already. It's emotionally weak for people like you.

E D i T

5 moar papers to go! Must do well for Chem, History, E Maths P1&2 and Literature to save my ass... A Maths & SS & Physics are total gone-cases.

"You better run like the devil, 'cause they're never gonna leave you alone! You better hide up in the alley, 'cause they're never gonna find you a home! And as the blood runs down the walls, you see me creepin' up these halls. I've been a bad motherfucker, tell your sister I'm another."

- -8<- - - - WELCOME to the world of the PLASTIC BEACH - - - ->8- -

a DARK beach with a BLACK view ; it was 10:14 PM

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep. Drive on engines till they weep. With future pixels in factories far away."

"Singing songs that make you slit your wrists,
It isn't that much fun..."

M N. 5th of the April. 17. Singapore. Female. Facebook. Tumblr.

Ex-Chongfu Primary. / Ex-CHAS.
Graduated Orchid Park Secondary:
Ex-Drama. Ex-Debater. Ex-Student Councillor. Ex-1A3-ian. Once-and-forever-2A3-ian. Ex-3A1-ian. Ex-PROUD-4A1-ian.

NGEE ANN FMS MCM [mass comm] T107/T102. RADIOHEATWAVE.COM Radio DJ. STAGE 52.

IN A RELATIONSHIP ♥

FYI, I quote a LOT of lyrics.

NOT emo, just tends to be more depressed than I'd like.
NOT a rocker, but loves to rock out.
NOT so sure i know who i am.
SUFFERS from Dermatillomania
a passionate LOVE for the colour RED
& PROUD TO BE A freak. Are you?

1. Love myself.
2. Self-Acceptance.
3. Eradicate insecurities.
4. Not to care.
5. Work hard in school.
6. Start over.
7. Take it slow.
8. Keep promises.
9. GPA >3.8 [yr 1.2,1.1,2.2,2.1,3.2]
10. To be MISERABLE and HAPPY.


"If it's not enough, try again. And again. Over and over again."

[[ WaNTS && WiSHES ]]

(1) Gorillaz - Plastic Beach
(2) 30STM - This Is War
(3) New Headphones
(4) Those new JEANS
(5) A Teenage Dream

Alex. :)♥ (my bumbling idiot)

HUTTSON My poopoo DOGGIE. ♥♥♥

BANDS :: MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE. Placebo. Marilyn Manson. 30 Seconds to Mars. Avenged Sevenfold. Linkin Park. Gorillaz. The Blackout. The Academy Is... Fall Out Boy. Bullet For My Valentine. Before Their Eyes. Lady Gaga. Just to name a VERY few...

HEROES :: GERARD WAY. TDK Joker. Jared Leto. Brian Molko. Draco Malfoy. 2D. Gerard Way. ♥ XD

Dilemmas.
The conflict.
Inner conflict.
Prejudiced people.
BUGS.

2A3-ians ♥ We Rock. Like Hell.
3/4A1-ians Over speed limit :D
Shoethrowers ♥ FAMILY
Apphia! :D :D :D Hee.
Azira A-zi-zi-ziraaaa! ♥ xD
Elizabeth ♥!
Elva VaVa :D
Farhan
Gavin
Isabelle
Jessica :D :D :D
Joanne ♥ XD
Joel is a legend!
Kenn Ninjaboy :D
Keng Ying CUZZIN! :D
Li Qing :DDD!
Matin! :D So cuute!
Nazry BiTCH!♥
Pearlyn So cute. :D
Rui Shuin Mah Couzin :D
Safwah rocks hardcore! :D ♥
Samuel ... Moo. :D ♥
Sarah BestFriend WALRUS ♥♥♥
Sheereen :DDD She cool yo!
Shi Wei :D:D:D So rad!
Si Ying, Tan rroooccckksss. :]
Si Ying, Yeh :D
Su Min She rocks!
Su Yuan :]

"Well you can hide a lot about yourself,
But honey, what're you gonna do?
And you can sleep in a coffin,
But the past ain't through with you."

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Layout: x
Image: Beyrout

I'm nothing but a beautiful disaster,
Crying tears of blood and joy
Into this black void.
Oblivion;
It's the place to be.
Ephemeral Romance.
Will you come with me?




i want to be

BEAUTIFUL

inside